


can't say I love you

by mikunicchi



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, slight dose of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2020-08-13 06:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20169310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikunicchi/pseuds/mikunicchi
Summary: Nino knew that his life was going to change when he agreed to the marriage. However, marrying the nationwide famous actor Matsumoto Jun was something he hadn't been expecting at all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Olga_09](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olga_09/gifts).

> This has been hunting me for so damn long and I'm happy to be able to write this finally.  
Also, this is my birthday gift to my fellow Suezu shipper Olga. Thanks for everything dear <3 I'm sorry for always being too loud about Suezu XD  
The plot is slightly inspired by the manga Happy Marriage.  

> 
> I plan to make the updates on Fridays as long as I'm not dying or some important stuff doesn't come up. Hopefully, I can stick to the schedule haha  
Sadly, not beta-ed. Please forgive my mistakes m(_ _)m  
As always, comments are very very welcome!

“Congratulations!”

Nino had no idea how he had gotten himself into this as the confetti landed on his hair. A forced smile that he was sure that wasn’t fooling anyone was plastered on his face as he stood next to his _“husband”_ holding a glass of champagne. He stole a glance to his newly wedded husband. He was standing right next to him, a similar flute of champagne on his hand. His suit was perfectly tailored to his body, defining his broad shoulders sinfully. And that smile… Nino was so sure that, that killer smile had broken so many hearts and he could gamble his own life into it. The difference between them was almost as day and night, he thought sourly.

His husband, Matsumoto Jun, the most eligible bachelor of Japan and a national treasure… He wasn’t anymore though since he just got married to Nino. Who would have thought that this guy would end up with someone like Nino? Surely, Nino hadn't anticipated it.

It was rather strange to call him as his husband. And it would probably be stranger to sleep with the man since well… he was Nino’s husband now. Nino almost groaned as his thoughts continued to wander around the word “husband”. This would probably drive him crazy sooner than he had expected. He should have probably confirmed who he was marrying in the first place. What a mistake.

“Would you like another glass?”

Nino’s thoughts got interrupted by none other than Matsumoto Jun. He was looking at him now, his expression unreadable.

“Um…” Nino stuttered, as his eyes looked everywhere but Jun. “I… I don’t… Um, I mean…”

Jun frowned. Nino thought it was intriguing how those awe-inspiring eyebrows of his suited him. “Are you alright?” Jun asked slightly worried. “If you’re not feeling well, we can…”

“I am!” Nino answered quickly, cutting him off. “I just… need to go to the bathroom… yeah… bathroom!”

However, Jun didn’t seem very much convinced. “You sure that you don’t need me to come with you?”

“Positive,” Nino answered with a smile that he was hoping that it was reassuring enough. He needed some time alone, like.

Jun still didn’t seem convinced but he still let him as Nino swiftly moved between the crowd and made his way towards the bathroom. To his luck, it was empty. Nino wanted to laugh. His luck worked at the most useless moments. He leaned to the sink and let out an exhausted breath.

How the hell his life led to this, he would never understand. God must be punishing him, he was sure of it.

It all started with Nino’s father, who was just a useless man who didn’t do anything but to cause a lot of troubles to Nino. He had never been present while Nino grew up. All he had was his mother and since his grandparents had died even before he had been born, his mother also had no one to lean on. His mother had died a few years ago, due to a heart attack and Nino’s heart still aches over it. But he was managing his life good enough. He had been working in the IT department of a telecommunication company and he was good enough to remain there long. He had a friend Aiba, who was working with his parents in their Chinese restaurant and Nino was a regular there. Aiba would give an arm if it was to save Nino and most certainly Nino would do the same for Aiba too. In the end, he had a simple, very normal life until he found out that his father used his name as the guarantor for his debts. His normal life crushed that day as he used all his savings to pay the debts and it was still not enough. But it was still better until he learned that his father didn’t just owe money to the banks but loan sharks as well… And in all honesty, they were a lot scarier than some angry banks when it came to paying their debt. Aiba had offered to lend him some money and even though Nino accepted that (he had no other choice at that moment after all) it still wasn’t enough.

It was then a man whose name was Matsumoto Nobuyuki found him.

The old man had told him a story which Nino thought that it was a bit hard to believe. That he had met Nino’s grandfather which he had never met, has saved Matsumoto Nobuyuki in the war. Nobuyuki has been looking for him for a long time already and he was elated to find him. He had offered to pay for everything but Nino refused him.

He had no idea about the old man, after all. Borrowing money from a stranger wasn’t appealing at all. It was then that the crazy old man offered him to marry his grandson. (_“Then we wouldn’t be strangers, right?”_) And Nino was sure that the old man was crazy.

It was the very same day when the whole situation went worse as the loan sharks barged into Aiba’s family restaurant. Nino was sure that he would never be able to forget how Aiba’s mother was crying and how scared Aiba himself looked. That was how he decided to take the offer of Nobuyuki. Marrying a stranger couldn’t be worse than having the loan sharks hurt your loved ones.

That was how he ended up there, in the bathroom of a very luxurious hotel. His wedding ceremony was happening outside of this door, with tons of celebrity whom he was used to seeing on the screen attending to it. He should have suspected. But how would someone suspect that your partner in an arranged marriage to be _the_ Matsumoto Jun? There were like… hundreds of Matsumoto out there!

Nino tried to call the information he had about Jun. Certainly, he wasn’t really interested in TV but even so, you would know who the Matsumoto Jun is. The actor who had won way too many awards with his acting and the one who even went to Hollywood… The number one male celebrity that the women in their thirties wanted to marry. The number one male celebrity that the women in their twenties wanted to make their boyfriend. The number one male celebrity that the women wanted to see naked etc. All those rankings caused a secondhand embarrassment for Nino, he couldn’t imagine how Jun must be feeling about it.

And there Nino was, now married to the one person who had been the subject of wet dreams for at least a million women.

He was surprised that Jun’s agency allowed him to marry. Especially with a male. Same-Sex marriages have been newly approved by the Japanese government but it was still very much a taboo in the life of normal citizens. And apparently, Jun’s agency was thinking that this marriage would bring publicity to the subject or something else. Nino didn’t care at all at this moment.

That moment the door of the bathroom opened and his best and probably the only friend, Aiba came in.

“There you are!” he said cheerfully. “You’re missing your wedding reception!”

“Shut it Aiba,” Nino grumbled.

“And why haven’t you told me that you were going to get married to Matsumoto Jun of all people!?” Aiba continued to rumble.

“I said shut it!” Nino finally snapped. He was just too overwhelmed by everything and he most certainly didn’t need Aiba to state everything.

Aiba fell silent immediately, taking a step back to look carefully at his best friend, who had been looking rather pale, not to mention the slight trembling that Nino was trying his best to hide. “Nino-chan… You okay?” he asked softly, placing a hand to Nino’s shoulder to reassure him.

“No, I’m not,” Nino said weakly. How the hell he was going to cope with this?

Aiba wrapped his arms around Nino, giving him a warm reassuring hug. “It’ll be okay, Nino, he looks nice.”

“He’s an actor, he is meant to look nice,” Nino told him.

“But he genuinely looks nice,” Aiba insisted.

“Everyone is nice to you.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know that,” Aiba insisted.

Nino just pouted and let Aiba comfort him. Aiba had always that effect on Nino. Aiba had a lot of time to learn how to comfort Nino when he was like this. Their relationship wasn’t just some kind of friendship but they had grown up together. Nino was one of his family and Aiba knew that he was the same for Nino.

Marriage wasn’t a Nino thing and yet there he was. Aiba knew that there was something that Nino was hiding from him but he was aware that Nino wouldn’t tell him even if he asked Nino about it. So he just wanted to be there for Nino, no matter what happens.

“Scared?” Aiba asked softly.

Nino didn’t answer. He didn’t want to tell the truth to Aiba, but also he hadn’t wanted to lie to him at the same time. So he just let Aiba guess. He was good at reading Nino after all.

“Everything will be okay, Nino,” Aiba reassured him as best as he could.

It was then, the door of the bathroom opened again as Jun came in.

“Are you okay? You have been in there for…” his voice trailed off in mid-sentence. Nino let Aiba go quickly, putting a small distance between them. Jun’s gaze was piercing through him as he stood there silent.

“Ah! Matsumoto-san… Sorry for keeping Nino here! I just can’t seem to stop talking you see,” Aiba babbled nervously. Nino could see that he was also overwhelmed by the sole existence of Matsumoto Jun. “I will… just go and enjoy the buffet… yes! I’ll do that!” he said before scurrying away, leaving Nino on Jun’s mercy.

A tense silence fell between them while Nino couldn’t think of anything to say. What did people talk about with a national star?

It was Jun who had broken the silence.

“I just… wondered if you’re okay,” he said, sounding very unsure. “Since it took you a while to return.”

“I…” Nino started, as he couldn’t think of anything to say. “I am not exactly used to being around all these famous people,” he admitted in the end.

Jun nodded. “Understandable,” he said. “But if we don’t go back now, it will be awkward.”

“I guess… you’re right…”

“We can say that we’re tired and leave the reception,” Jun offered.

Nino offered a nervous smile. “I would appreciate that very much, thank you.”

Jun smiled. It was a nice one, to Nino’s surprise. It wasn’t like the ones he flashed outside or it wasn’t like the ones that Nino had seen in the magazines. This one was soft, understanding and… warm…

“Don’t mention it,” Jun shook his head. “Shall we return?” he asked offering his arm to Nino.

Nino smiled too. That was the first time that he felt that maybe, just maybe he and Jun could understand each other.


	2. Chapter 2

When Nino has returned to the reception together with Jun, he was feeling relatively better than a few minutes ago. Somehow, spending a few minutes in the bathroom, Nino started to think that maybe Jun wasn’t as bad as he was dreading. And maybe this was why Jun’s presence next to him felt actually reassuring at that moment.

They mingled into the crowd again, even though Nino was still nervous about being there. It was just too much. He was just a normal salaryman a day ago and now he was surrounded by the celebrities. His eyes searched for Aiba, only to find him munching on the fancy sweets that filled the buffet and talking to someone else. He seemed happy, and much more relaxed compared to Nino. _What a traitor,_ Nino couldn’t help but think. He was nearly dying out of nerves here while his best friend was eating the damn cheesecake in the damn buffet. He was too absorbed by his own thoughts to realize the look on Jun’s face.

“Jun-kun!!” Nino snapped from his thoughts when he heard someone calling his husband’s name loudly. He turned around just to see a man launching on Jun. “We were wondering where you went!”

Jun smiled. “Ah, Toma, I just went to the bathroom.”

“Bathroom?” The man called Toma questioned as his eyes traveled to Nino before grinning. “Oh, I see, _bathroom,_” he stressed the word, making Nino blush even though they did nothing.

“It’s not…” Nino tried to deny but his protest was cut in between when Jun slid his muscular arm around Nino’s waist to pull him closer.

“Now, now,” Jun started playfully. “Let’s not embarrass Kazu,” he added a wink at the end of his sentence.

Nino froze. Did he just call him _Kazu_? Really? Jun’s way of saying his name gave goosebumps to Nino as he looked at Jun’s handsome face. Nino was already too conscious about Jun’s closeness. The warmth that’s radiating through Jun’s body, his manly scent, and everything was invading his senses. And as if that’s not enough, he had called him _Kazu_.

“You sly dog!” Toma smacked Jun’s shoulder lightly as his grin got wider. Nino wanted to die rather than living this embarrassment. “Though I still can’t believe that you never told me that you were together with someone,” Toma said, making Nino shift uncomfortably under his gaze.

Jun let out a hearty laugh. “Yeah, so that the whole entertainment world could learn my relationship with Kazu? No, thanks, man. You’re worse than the gossip magazines when you’re drunk.”

There, again. Nino couldn’t help his heartbeat getting painfully fast in his chest. Why Jun was doing this?

“What a cold friend!” Toma lamented.

“Shut up,” Jun smacked Toma’s head harder than Nino has expected but somehow, it looked like friendly banter.

“Hurts! You have no holding back seriously,” Toma grumbled as he rubbed his head.

“You know that for ten years already,” Jun shot back. “Whatever. Kazu is tired so we were actually thinking about going back to our room,” Jun started which only caused Toma’s grin to come back and make Nino blush. “I hope you don’t mind explaining our absence?”

“Of course my friend!” Toma said immediately. “Go and enjoy yourselves,” he said before leaning closer to Jun’s ear and whisper something Nino can’t hear. Whatever Toma was saying, it made Jun frown and Nino could swear he saw the blush on Jun’s cheeks before he smacked Toma once again.

“Shut up, you idiot!” he exclaimed, leaving a laughing heap of Toma behind as he dragged Nino out of the crowd. As they walked, they had encountered various people who congratulated them. It wasn't like Nino to act lost like he's doing currently but for that night, he believed that he could be forgiven for not being the usual witty Ninomiya Kazunari. So in the end, Nino let Jun do the talking.

They had left the reception sooner than Nino had expected and no one actually stopped them or called them back since Jun was skillfully dodging the questions and the guests that would hold them back which, Nino was very grateful for.

As soon as they were alone, Jun left Nino, putting a small distance between them and to Nino's dismiss, his side felt really cold without Jun.

"I'm sorry," he shifted uncomfortably in his place. "I had to put up a show otherwise they would never let us go."

Nino just nodded. Maybe Jun was also feeling awkward with everything just like Nino.

"I guess… I apologize in advance…" Jun said with a sigh.

Nino frowned. "For what?"

Jun gave him a look, which only made Nino feel like groaning. "You'll see…"

Apparently, the night was only getting worse…

***

The night was definitely getting worse. Nino was ready to punch them if anyone told the opposite as Jun led him inside the honeymoon suite that was located on the highest floor of the fancy hotel. Nino was reluctant to go in but apparently, he had no other choice.

They went in, the door closing behind them with a soft click and Nino tried his best to stay neutral as he looked inside the vast room. _What a luxury_, he thought while trying to wrap his head around the things that kept happening today.

“I’m sorry,” Jun started as the silence kept hanging between them. He must have felt that Nino must be anxious. “I told grandpa that a honeymoon suite wasn’t necessary but he went ahead and…” he trailed off.

Nino sighed. “He was really excited about everything.”

Jun snorted. “I have grown up while listening to how he wanted to find Ninomiya-san, does that explain?”

“It does,” Nino nodded. “But this is still too much.”

Jun stayed silent at that as they simply stood there by the door as if the room was dangerous to walk in. His eyes wandered through the pastel-colored walls. A four-poster bed with a sturdy king-size mattress, which was slightly off the ground for some reason which Nino wasn’t curious. High thread-count white sheets, a duvet, and a colorful bed scarf. Vases to hold long-stemmed red roses. And the canopy. A love seat. Again Nino didn’t want to think or know what that actually used for as his eyes continued to wander around the room. Instead of a desk, there was a vanity table. And those very strategically placed mirrors… Nino felt his face heating.

Jun cleared his throat. “I think now we should talk about…” he stopped a moment to find the right words before continuing. “...this whole thing.”

Nino looked at Jun, who looked rather uncomfortable as he stood there. He had been so sure and so full of confidence in the reception, Nino almost couldn't believe what he's seeing.

"What do you mean?" Nino asked.

"This marriage…" he started only to stop again. Nino had no idea what he was trying to say. Jun heaved a sigh. "Why did you agreed to marry me?"

Nino was taken by surprise with the question. "What?"

"You heard me," Jun shrugged. "I know you must have your own reasons. I was just wondering what pushed you to this."

Nino looked away. Jun didn't seem like a bad person and Nino wasn't a liar, even though he was hesitant to talk about the debts and all, he believed that Jun deserved the truth.

"I assume you already know about the debts my father left to me," Nino started.

Jun nodded. "Grandpa told me that you refused his offer."

"I did."

This time Jun frowned. "Then why are you…?"

"It's my friend," Nino said quickly before he could change his mind. "The loan sharks have hurt Aiba. You saw him at the reception, right?"

Something twitched in Jun's expression but it disappeared quickly before Nino could think about it. "I see," Jun said, not adding more to it.

Nino looked away, not knowing what to say. Should he apologize? Or should he say something else? What was the right thing to do?

The silence just stretched between them, until Jun cleared his throat.

"I guess it's clear that we were both not willing for this marriage. I couldn't refuse because of my personal reasons but hearing your reason just confirms my thoughts," he told calmly.

Nino didn't say anything. He was suddenly too scared to talk with this Jun, who had turned cold and distant in front of him.

"It would be better if I state it. I can't help the fact that we have to live together now but I have no desire to play house game with you," Jun's cold eyes were piercing through Nino and he suddenly felt very lonely. "We both have our own life, so try not to disturb mine. In exchange, I'll not disturb yours too."

Nino was too shocked to say anything as he agreed with a small movement of his head. He hadn't expected that. Damn, he had no idea about what he expected but this certainly wasn't one of that. He wanted to punch himself from a few hours ago for thinking that they could understand each other and maybe make it work between them… But Jun clearly didn't want to try to work things between them.

"Good," Jun continued. "I'll take the coach, you can sleep on the bed," Jun said lastly, not leaving a place for an argument. As he walked inside the room leaving Nino there in the doorway, his back turned to Nino.

Nino just stood there, frozen from the sudden change of Jun and scared about his life. His heart felt broken into a million pieces because of Jun's words. But then again, what had he expected? That he and Jun would be happily married and lead a life of happiness?

He was such an idiot.

He felt the tears of frustration burning his eyes, making him panic again. He surely wasn't going to cry in front of this arrogant guy. His eyes scanned through the room before deciding to the closest door, which he assumed as the bathroom.

"I'll take a bath first," Nino announced, his voice hard and as cold as it can be. He didn't look at Jun who had been taking off his suits jacket and pulling his tie off.

Nino shut the door firmly behind himself, leaning to the door and slipping to the ground. He released a tired, shaky breath. He had been trying to stay strong for the whole time and he was actually managing it for the good part of it until now. However, he couldn't help two lonely teardrops slipping down from his cheeks before he frustratedly wiped them away.

If this was how his life was going to be from now on, he couldn't continue crying like a little kid. Yeah, he just had to endure this. It wouldn’t be the worst thing he had to endure until now, he concluded as he got up and decided to take a shower.

He looked at his own reflection in the mirror, pinched his own cheek. “You can do this, Nino,” he told himself.

Yes, he could definitely do this.


	3. Chapter 3

The sun was starting to rise when Jun locked the door of the bathroom. It was another thing that was designed extravagantly. The big mirror, a large sink and a counter made out of white marble and of course, a bathtub big enough for two.

Jun couldn't help but imagine himself together with Nino in that bath for a second but he quickly shooed away that thought. His husband, Nino was sleeping soundly in the bed that was actually meant for two and it wasn't like he could sleep with him. 

It was weird for Jun to call him as his husband and he knew Nino also felt the same. 

He heaved an exhausted sigh, sitting down to the toilet with closed lids. Jun was confused. And sad, even though he didn’t want to admit it. This Nino, who was sleeping a few meters away from him was confusing him. It wasn’t like Jun disliked the latter. On the contrary, he found Nino really cute and attractive. He was also tough, smart and funny but this didn’t make anything better. Jun bit his lower lip trying his best to not to dwell on the memories failing miserably. 

Japan has certainly changed. In a good way that is. But this didn’t change the past and what he had to go through. He had been fifteen when he came out to his parents, who ended up kicking him out of the house because he wasn’t _normal._ He had never been normal, and his parents, who had wanted a _normal son_ couldn’t take the fact that their son liked men. He hadn’t seen them since then. They hadn’t shown up on Jun’s graduation, or anything at all. Not that he was all alone. His grandfather has accepted Jun as he is and taken care of him. For so long, the only person Jun could rely on was his grandfather. He had taken him in and even welcomed him with open arms. Jun was saved by his grandfather’s presence numerous times that there was nothing he wouldn’t do for him. The old man was both understanding and accepting, Jun had nothing he wanted more than to make his grandfather proud. 

His grandfather was also supporting when Jun decided to send out his application for one of the most famous talent agencies in Japan. 

He had applied the audition of his current agency when he turned eighteen and he had been miraculously accepted without even going through the audition. The president of his company, Nishikawa Daisuke who had established the company Purple Entertainment, had been a great help for Jun to find his place in the entertainment world. He had worked hard to get where he was and for people to acknowledge him. He hadn’t been the best since the beginning but he gradually worked his way to the top, and now he was one and the foremost names of the Japanese entertainment industry.

However, despite having his grandfather right beside him and his numerous friends as well as his fans around him, he had always been all alone. 

Not that he actually talked about it but deep down, since his parents have denied him, Jun felt like he hadn't belonged anywhere. It wasn't easy for a child to be denied by their parents who were meant to love them. Even though Jun tried his best not to let it get him, this feeling has always been hidden deep inside his heart but it has gradually grown out of its place as he spent his life in this industry. 

People fancied him. Dozens of them admired the face he had put out and he was aware of it. The fame was good, and Jun would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy himself in his younger years with this fame. There would be days Jun wouldn't go back to his home, going out from one party to another. There were dozens of one-night stands and a few relationships which didn’t end well. 

Most of them were because of the same reason. They wanted Jun’s fame, not Jun himself. Or they wanted to get closer with someone else, using Jun as a step and in the end, it was still that Jun wasn’t the one that they wanted. 

He had fallen in love once when he was young. Someone from his agency. It didn’t work out. Thinking now, there was no way it would work but it still broke Jun’s heart to the point to make him think that he could never fall in love again. Since then Jun only felt like a face and a name that’s well-known yet not good enough to have someone love him unconditionally. 

And it was the same with Ninomiya too. Jun couldn’t see anything that told him otherwise. He had only agreed to this marriage because he had been fighting with the loan sharks. Nino wanted to save who meant for him the most. He couldn’t stand to see Aiba hurting and thus, he agreed to marry to Jun. Again, it wasn’t Jun that he wanted. But Jun was already used to this, sad or not. He had never been expecting that Ninomiya would love him since the first time he had seen Ninomiya. 

Jun’s grandfather, who has been 93 years old already, has been looking for Ninomiyas since Jun had known himself. He had heard more than a dozen times how he had saved by Ninomiya. And since his grandfather was really old, Jun wanted to make something for him. He hoped that it would show how grateful he was towards his grandfather’s existence and he put a lot of efforts into finding Ninomiyas. He had money, he had the luxury to spend that money on the private detectives. And they were able to find Ninomiya soon. Apparently, Ninomiya Kazunari was the only one who had remained from the Ninomiya line.

Of course, he had no way of letting his grandfather meet him before he confirmed that Ninomiya wasn’t a bad guy. So he had lurked around the other for a while like a stalker as much as his schedule allowed. He had tried to witness what kind of life Ninomiya has been leading and he was surprised to find a rather simple one which Jun kind of liked. He had been working in a telecommunication company, in the IT department. He had seen him in drinking parties which Nino attended from time to time with the co-workers in the same company. He usually went to that specific Chinese restaurant that his _friend_, Aiba Masaki worked. 

Jun even went to that restaurant as he went to those drinking parties just to observe Ninomiya. And as much as Jun didn't want to admit, he hated to see that Nino was genuinely happy in that space. Teasing Aiba, laughing with him, eating and drinking with him. 

Jun could also see the chemistry. The mutual affection which Jun interpreted as love. He couldn't help but feel jealous. Nino had everything that Jun had been wishing for since forever. 

Despite feeling jealous, Jun had put himself aside to tell his grandfather that he had found Ninomiyas. He told him that the only one remained is that the only grandson of the person he had been looking. Jun would never forget the happiness and the excitement that he had seen in the eyes of his grandfather. This was what mattered, he thought, seeing his grandfather happy was worth what may happen. 

However, he also wasn't expecting to get married to Ninomiya Kazunari just like him. Jun thought he knew his grandfather well, but he still didn't anticipate something like that. First of all, he didn’t think his grandfather would want him to marry someone who doesn't love Jun at all. Nino probably had someone better, who loved Nino back. The look on his face when he saw Aiba talking to Sakurai Sho next to the buffet, who had been Jun's senpai from the agency, was enough to tell Jun that Nino cared about Aiba a lot. It was then, Jun wanted to clear things between them. So that Nino wouldn't feel like he's been cheating on Jun. But when Nino confirmed Jun's suspicions by saying that he accepted the marriage because of Aiba, Jun still could help but feel the pain in his chest. _It's just the same,_ he thought. _It has always been like this._

Another thing was that he also hadn't anticipated his agency to allow him to marry too. 

_"Just get married, Jun-kun!"_ Nishikawa-san said rather happily, _"this will bring you and us so much publicity!!"_

And now, Jun wasn't just married but a public figure. He didn't know what would happen in the future. He didn’t even know to which extend that this marriage will be made public. He was afraid that he will be asked about his marriage, and he surely had to portray a happy marriage out there. He also had to live with Nino and that was another thing that was bothering him.

Nino's belongings were already moved into Jun's apartment which probably wasn't the best choice but certainly the best they could find in this short amount of time. And of course, Jun wouldn't want to live in Nino's one-roomed apartment in the downtown area. So Jun had offered his own place which had one spare bedroom that Jun used as a guest room and he hoped that Nino would like that room. 

Living with Jun wasn't easy. He himself knew that better than anyone else. He was cranky in the mornings, he was picky about what he was eating, drinking, wearing. He wasn't sure if Nino would find that part of him bothersome. Would he feel suffocated? Would he want to leave Jun earlier than Jun expected? Because Jun was sure that, Nino would leave him when he had the chance. 

He sighed for the nth time that day. His thoughts were drawn into a circle like an endless loop. He checked his wristwatch, 05.00am. It was almost time for his manager to pick him up. He finally decided to go out of the bathroom, which was only depressing him more with that big bathtub sitting in front of him to remind him that he wouldn't be able to use it with the other person that was sleeping in the bed.

Jun returned to the bedroom as silently as he could, careful to not to wake Nino up. His eyes fell onto the small figure that was half-hidden under the silky covers. The moonlight that was floating inside the room from the small gap between the curtains and was landing onto Nino's face which Jun could see. Jun would wish so much for this wedding to be real so that he could wrap himself around the fragile body. 

"Get a hold of yourself, Jun," he said out loud, which came out as a whisper. He had to be strong to not to feel more if he wanted his heart unbroken. 

That morning, Jun left the room before Nino woke up since he had to head towards the location of his upcoming drama. It wasn't like he had a choice, and it wasn't like he had to give Nino a reason. That's right, why was he feeling guilty about leaving the guy here? 

_This is okay,_ Jun thought in the van that was taking him to the location. His manager who had greeted him rather cheerfully and even congratulated him on his wedding again, even though attending to the reception, continued to recite his schedule for the day next to him as he focused outside. The changing scenery wasn't exactly a good distraction as his mind kept going back to the subject. 

He would be fine. He could do this. He could actually stay strong and avoid Nino in the house too. What could go wrong, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing exactly happened but I hope this all explains the reason why Jun acted cold towards Nino in the previous chapter! I hope everyone likes this despite the lack of action haha


	4. Chapter 4

It was a rather hot summer night as Nino watched the Aiba family close Keikarou for the day. It almost felt like nothing had changed. He would tease Aiba lastly and head his apartment in Katsushika when they were done. He would play a few hours before going to bed and repeating the same day again. However, it has already been a few months since life has changed. Now, he would head his new home, a rather fine apartment with expensive rent, which was located in the Meguro. It was somewhere Nino would refuse to live if it was any other time. But his husband was a celebrity who liked luxury and could afford it. _What a life,_ Nino thought.

“Here you go.”

Nino’s train of thoughts got interrupted when Aiba placed a bottle of beer in front of him with a soft smile on his face.

“What is this?” Nino asked, suspicious of Aiba’s actions.

Aiba rolled his eyes. “It’s a beer.”

“I didn’t order it,” Nino stated while still pouring some of it to his glass.

“But you’re still drinking it,” Aiba said.

“Because I won’t be paying for it.”

“Cheapskate.”

“It’s your mistake for mistaking orders, right, aunt?” Nino asked Aiba’s mom who had been cleaning the tables.

She looked up with a serious expression. “Ma-kun keeps making mistakes with your orders,” she sighed. “I’ll have this deduct from his money.”

“Hey!” Aiba exclaimed, making his mother laugh out. “And this is on the house, of course. I’m not going to make my friend pay for a beer when he’s clearly bothered by something,” Aiba said as he sat next to Nino with a soft expression on his face.

Nino grimaced. “Idiot.”

Aiba just smiled brightly at that. Nino called him ‘idiot’ when he was right about something or when he was really being an idiot. Though this time Aiba knew it was the first one.

“So? Is it about him?” Aiba asked, not exactly sure about how to call Matsumoto Jun.

“Why do you think so?” Nino asked sipping from his beer, hiding his face behind the glass.

Aiba gave him a look, which clearly indicated that he won’t be going to buy if Nino said ‘nothing’. But Nino still couldn't bring himself to talk. He didn’t even know what he should say.

“Is he hurting you?” Aiba asked carefully.

“No!” Nino answered immediately. “On the contrary, he’s actually nice. Cold, yes, but aside from that he’s very nice.”

“Then what’s wrong?” Aiba asked curiously.

“I don’t know myself too,” Nino chuckled lowly. “He’s nice. Actually he’s even cute. Did you know that he’s actually terrible in the mornings? He’s just a pain in the ass until he has his coffee,” he spoke almost lovingly to Aiba’s surprise. “So it’s not like there’s anything wrong. Aside from this marriage, which is a huge mistake.” Nino sighed and gulped down a big sip from his beer. “It’s like… I don’t know. This whole thing feels like we’re just roommates rather than a married couple.”

“Wait a moment,” Aiba cut him. “And what’s wrong with that?”

“I just thought we could have been friends if it wasn’t for this huge mess,” Nino answered immediately. “Now I feel like he avoids me most of the time.”

Aiba smiled, patting Nino’s back slowly. “Everything will be okay, Nino.”

Nino laughed at that. “Anyway, have you finished the game I gave you?”

Aiba rolled his eyes at Nino’s attempt to change the subject but decided not to force him anymore as he simply joined the conversation about the game.

Aiba has known Nino for so long that he was able to read him like an open book. He was pretty much sure about why Nino wasn’t happy with his current situation. _A part of him must be wanting to get along with him_, Aiba thought when Nino left the small Chinese Restaurant.

“Kazu-kun looks troubled,” His mom voiced the same thoughts as Aiba.

“He does,” Aiba nodded.

His mom sighed tiredly. “He’s such a lovely boy. It’s sad to see him like this. Kazuko-san will surely ask me why I don’t take care of his son.”

Aiba chuckled. “He’ll be fine,” he said. “He’ll surely be fine.”

***

It was dark when Nino returned to Jun’s apartment. He heaved a sigh, looking at the big, empty apartment. Jun usually wasn’t at home and Nino felt like he saw Matsumoto Jun on TV more than he did personally, despite living together. It was something Nino slowly but surely got used to. However, it still didn't change the fact that he doesn't like this situation.

It was nearing midnight Nino realized, as he went to his room to change his suits into sweatpants and a t-shirt. The house was silent, which Nino thought was rather unsettling. This kind of silence, he certainly didn’t like. The guest room, which now belonged to Nino was bigger than his old room and he could see the city at its finest from the window. It somehow made Nino feel lonely.

And it reminded him terribly of his childhood.

Most of the memories he has had about his childhood were that him being alone in a house that was too big only for him, waiting for someone to come back. His mother had always been away, running from one job to another. His father, the lowlife he had always been, was out either drinking or something else which Nino never wanted to imagine. However, it was worse when his parents were together in the house.

A part of him was scared of the idea of having a relationship, or marriage, given the fact that his parents weren’t the best example for Nino. He had always avoided having a relationship and now he was stuck in a marriage that was never going to work.

But the other part of him wanted to try. He wanted to see if this marriage could work. But he didn’t know what to do about it. Jun was kind and cute. He was a well mate to live with and there was no way Nino would say the otherwise. It had been three months and Nino got to know how busy Jun’s schedule actually was. Sometimes he would leave the house before Nino woke up and sometimes he wouldn’t come back for days. He never said anything but Jun’s manager, Kokubun Taichi, has always made sure to give Nino a call if Jun wasn't going to come back home. Nino checked his phone, just to make sure that he hadn’t got a call from Taichi-san that day.

Nino heaved another sigh. He didn’t know what to do but he still went out of his room, turning the lights on so that the house wouldn’t be as lonely as it was before when Jun returned. This was the only thing he could think of, which come from Nino’s own experience.

Maybe they weren’t going to be a couple in the normal meaning but they were still stuck together and Nino definitely didn’t want Jun to feel trapped in this relationship.

He went to the soft couch, keeping himself busy with Puzzle & Dragons. _Tomorrow is Saturday anyway,_ he thought. He could as well wait for Jun before he went to bed.

***

It was already nearing two am in the morning when Jun finally saw the end of the hard day as his manager dropped him in front of his apartment. The garage was empty and very much deserted at that hour of the day as he dragged his heavy steps towards the elevator.

Jun let himself lean heavily to the wall of the elevator, the small screen showed the changing numbers of the floors, taking him up to his own apartment. He could see the exhaustion from his reflection in the mirror even though his face has already been covered with a mask and thick-rimmed glasses. Despite that, the dark circles under his eyes were pretty much visible.

The elevator reached the top floor and Jun walked out, feeling every single piece of his muscles screaming with pain. He was in the middle of filming an action movie and wanted to do the action by himself rather than relying on a stuntman. He knew that if he wanted a stuntman for himself it would be granted immediately but Jun was someone who hated to give up from the challenges that have been placed in front of him. From some time on, he had become someone who would work himself to the point of breaking down. Maybe it was because of the negative comments he had received in the past, or maybe it was because he hated to neglect his job. Whatever the reason is, Jun wanted to force his limits.

Jun stood in front of his door, looking at it blankly for a moment. It has been three months since the wedding. And it has been three months since he hadn’t been alone in his house at night.

Jun couldn’t bring himself to hate the fact that there was someone who will be there when he went back. That there was someone who would say _“welcome back”_ to his _“I’m back”_. It was almost stupid that Jun actually craved for such a small thing in his life but it was the truth, even though he would never accept that out loud.

Nino was also a very accommodating companion, more than Jun deserved. He would make coffee for Jun in those rare days where Jun was at home in the mornings. He never commented on Jun’s picky attitude and he never moved Jun’s things to somewhere else. Jun was rarely at home to take notice of Nino’s habits but as much as he was able to witness, Nino played a lot of games, and that he rarely eat at home. They didn’t talk too much or spend too much time together but sometimes, Nino would welcome him home. And that made Jun's heart swell with something very dangerous every time.

Jun never told his own schedule to Nino himself, but the guilt hunted him for the remaining of the day after leaving him alone in that honeymoon suite alone in their first night. So, Jun always had Taichi-san call Nino when he would be staying out, or when he would be late.

However, that day, both Taichi-san and Jun weren’t expecting the shooting to become like that and he was sure that Taichi-san hadn’t had time to call Nino. It was already two am. Jun doubted that Nino actually waited for him until that time.

However, he was wrong. The lights were coming from the living room when Jun opened the door. Trying to silence his deafening heartbeat, he walked into the living room to find Nino there. Nino was lying on the couch, his eyes focused on his phone but he looked up as soon as Jun walked in.

“Welcome back,” Nino said, his voice breaking at the end with a yawn.

Jun blinked. “Um… I’m back,” he answered, feeling slightly flushed. A lot of question was moving around his head: Why haven’t you sleep? Why are you awake? Did you perhaps wait for me? Jun had believed that it was only a coincidence that until that day. That Nino surely wouldn’t go out of his way to stay awake, waiting for Jun especially because he had been cold towards Nino for more often than not. But maybe… maybe Nino had been waiting for him? It was something Jun didn’t dare to hope until that moment.

“You are late,” Nino said as if to fill the nervous silence.

“Ah… The shooting took longer,” Jun explained.

Nino hummed, getting up from the couch and stretching his sore back with a grimace. He looked so cute with his mussed hair and that slightly big old t-shirt that was sliding off his shoulders to show his collarbones. Jun felt his throat dry as he tried to swallow hard.

“You… waited for me?” Jun asked in the end, not being able to stop himself from asking.

Nino looked at him for a few seconds, before averting his gaze and nodding. “Well, I know how it feels to return a dark home,” he shrugged, another yawn creeping out. “Though I am going to sleep now that you came back.”

Jun smiled, couldn’t not. “Thanks.”

Nino cleared his throat. “Well then… Good night, Jun-kun,” he said, turning his back to him and hurrying back to his room.

“Good night, Kazu.”

And for the first time in a while, Jun went to sleep with a stupid smile on his face, feeling rather happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week was a bit hard and I'm a day late but I guess it's okay? It's going rather a slow burning but I hope you guys like it!


	5. Chapter 5

Nino closed his door, the lock finding its place with a soft click which ringed loudly in the silent room. He leaned to the wooden door heavily. His cheeks slightly red, his heart beating a mile in the second.

He did it again. He called him Kazu. Jun's voice and the way his name rolled on Jun's tongue played again and again in Nino's mind. This was dangerous, Nino thought. He shouldn't be falling for the actor who ignored Nino most of the time. Right?

_Damn that smile,_ Nino cursed as he buried his face into his hands. _And damn Jun to keep calling him with his name…_

He then flopped down to his bed, laying down, his eyes focused on the ceiling above him. He could hear Jun move around the house and soon the shower was running. He took a glance towards the clock that was sitting on his nightstand. “So late…” Nino mumbled, tired of a long week. However, his mind was full of Jun. Nino sighed, worming his way under the covers, he wondered if Jun was going to be there the next morning when he woke up.

***

When Nino woke up at ten the next morning, the house was rather silent. He yawned, walking to the bathroom to fresh up and brush his teeth. He wondered if Jun was at work already as he passed by the door of Jun’s bedroom which was shut tight as always. Nino hasn’t gone into that room even once, a slight curiosity always making him want to take a peek into it but he always refined himself. Nino shook his head, he wasn’t going to cross that line.

_Breakfast… What to do,_ Nino thought as a breakfast as he walked to the kitchen to start the coffee machine. Thumbing his smartphone and the uber eats application while he waited for the coffee machine to beep. He poured a glass of coffee to himself, as it was his routine in the morning when the door of mystery literally opened.

Nino’s eyes widened as Jun, very much grumpy walked out barefoot in his rumpled pajamas. His messy bed hair was sticking all the ways and his bangs were down, falling into his eyes. He looked different, very far from the Matsumoto Jun that Nino had seen until now. Yes, he had seen Jun in his freshly awake state and his grumpy attitude a few times already but even then Jun never came out without changing and fixing his appearance first.

Jun walked towards Nino who just stood there not knowing what to do. The look on Jun’s face was rather unpleasant and Nino had no idea what he was pissed off in the first place. Jun stood in front of him and Nino automatically passed the mug that he was holding onto. Jun acknowledged Nino with a nod and sat down to the small table in the kitchen, silently sipping the coffee. For some reason, it was cute. Well… If Nino overlooked the fact that Jun looked like he would snap any moment, that is.

Meantime, Nino processed to take another mug from the cupboard for his well-deserved coffee. He filled his own cup, and leaned onto the counter, feeling rather awkward to sit down with Jun since they hadn’t even tried that ever since their wedding reception. Nino’s eyes turned to the coffee, in order to not to look at Jun like a creep.

“Why are you standing there?”

Nino was startled with Jun’s voice as he spoke sounding rough as his voice was still thick with sleep. Nino looked at him carefully surprised to see that Jun was looking at him intently too. Jun’s eyes were narrowed and Nino thought if only looks could kill. However, even with his narrowed, angry-looking eyes, Jun still looked so effortlessly handsome.

Nino considered what to say. _Sorry, you look like you can kill whoever tried to talk to you at the moment so I am not taking any risk?_ That certainly wasn’t something to tell a national star. But wait… He wasn’t a national star at the moment. Nino still had no idea how to behave around him and it was getting annoying. He exhaled, _whatever,_ he thought internally before throwing his answer to Jun.

“Have you seen your expression?” Nino asked, keeping his tone is light. Jun blinked confused, he cocked his head to the side and looked at Nino. It could have been count as a success, Nino assumed. Jun at least didn’t look like he was going to chop Nino’s head at any second now. A small smile curled around the corner of Nino’s lips unconsciously as Jun come to realize what Nino mean.

“Ah! My glasses!” Jun said as if that was the answer to everything which Nino certainly didn’t understand. Jun quickly got up from his place and hurried back to his room, leaving a confused Nino in the kitchen.

Nino looked behind him until Jun emerged from his room after thirty seconds later wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses which strangely suit him well. It dawned on Nino then.

“You wear glasses?” He asked curious.

Jun nodded as he sat back to his previous place. He wasn’t narrowing anymore.

“It wasn’t for disguise?”

“Well that too but my eyes are bad,” Jun said nonchalantly.

“How bad is it?” Nino couldn’t help asking.

“I can’t see you clearly from where you’re standing,” Jun explained calmly.

“So that’s why you were looking at me like that?”

“That and also it’s the shit early in the morning,” Jun shrugged.

Nino chuckled, making Jun shot him another glare but Nino felt like he was starting to gain immunity to those glares. “Want another?” he gestured to Jun’s empty mug.

Jun grimaced. “Yeah but this is awful,” he said, standing up without a beat and walking towards Nino who had been standing beside the coffee machine. “I have been thinking but don’t we have some good coffee? Not the cheap awful ones you insist to keep making,” Jun babbled as he looked around the cupboards.

Nino rolled his eyes. “Excuse me for my _cheap_ and awful _coffee_ which apparently wasn’t suitable for your rich taste,” he shot back.

“Ah, here it is!” Jun exclaimed, not even seeming bothered by Nino’s snark. “Go and sit down,” he shooed Nino towards the table and started making coffee from the start.

“Rich guys,” Nino grumbled as he went to sit down the table, to the opposite chair that Jun had been sitting.

A silence fell between them as Jun thoroughly made the coffee as Nino continued to drink his own.

“Is it okay for you to be here?” Nino blurted out suddenly, even surprising himself. Jun looked at him questioningly, “I mean,” Nino added quickly feeling flustered. “You always run tight on a schedule so…” his voice trailed off.

Jun hummed before returning to the task in front of him. “I have a day off today,” he said surprising Nino.

“Oh…”

“Hm.”

Another silence filled the kitchen until the coffee machine beeped. Jun filled his mug and turned to Nino. “Want to try?”

“The expensive and not awful coffee?” Nino mocked.

Jun rolled his eyes, taking Nino’s empty mug and filling it with the new coffee. He put it in front of him and sat down to his previous place, sipping his coffee. He let out a satisfied hum while Nino eyed him suspiciously.

“Try it,” Jun said with a confident smile on his face.

Giving a tired sigh, Nino took a sip from the coffee.

“How is it?” Jun was looking at him straight.

“It’s good, totally tastes like an expensive coffee,” Nino answered frankly.

Jun chuckled surprising Nino. “Apparently you like the cheaper one better,” he stated.

“Cheap ones are easy to like, and of course, you can consume as much as you want since well… they are _cheap_,” Nino shrugged.

That made Jun laugh out loud. “You’re funny.”

Nino was surprised that after three months of living together, Jun was actually sitting in front of him and they were talking like normal friends. That somehow made Nino feel good. At least, they didn’t hate each other.

“So what do you usually do on your day-offs?” Nino asked, deciding that they could make the most of this moment to get to know each other.

“I used to party or go surfing but after hitting thirty I actually stay at home and sleep in,” Jun scratched the back of his neck, as he finished his sentence. Then he added: “What do you do in your day-offs?”

“Gaming,” Nino answered promptly.

“All day?” Jun blinked.

“Yup.”

“I wasn’t expecting that…”

“I don’t really go out, you see,” Nino chuckled.

“Don’t you get bored of sitting in front of a screen all day?”

“Nope.”

“Wow,” Jun made an impressed face.

“I sometimes invite someone in but not always,” Nino added, still amused.

“I see.”

A few seconds of silence fell between them as Nino suddenly realized that they were actually going to spend the whole day together if none of them went out.

“Um… I could go out if you want me to,” Nino blurted out suddenly, anxious to hear whatever Jun’s answer going to be. He could go out if Jun wanted to spend some time alone in his own house but it would certainly make Nino feel unwanted. Nino looked at Jun who slightly fidgeted in his place before answering.

“That’s not necessary, this is your house too,” Jun shrugged.

Nino smiled. “Thanks.”

Jun returned the gesture too. “No problem.”

Nino took another sip from his coffee before getting up. “Well then, I will go back to my room, if you need me.”

“Okay,” Jun nodded, still drinking his coffee.

“Oh, and thanks for the expensive coffee,” Nino said before he left the kitchen.

“Anytime,” Jun called behind as Nino closed his door.

Somehow Nino felt like it was going to be a long weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last week was quite stressful for me so I apologize for not updating last week, that being said, please accept my sincere apologies m(_ _)m


	6. Chapter 6

Nino was pressing the buttons of the controller in his hands madly. His eyes were focused on the screen and his mouth has formed a pout of concentration. He was so close to beating the boss when the boss threw him away with an unexpected blow which made him lose his concentration and receive a full blow from the boss. 

The screen turned into grey as his HP came down to zero and the jingle that Nino hated to hear ringed around the room and the game over text came up. 

“Are you kidding me!?!” Nino raised his voice angrily. 

It was then he heard a knock on his door. 

“What!?” Nino barked still frustrated by the sudden change on the movement pattern of the boss, not really minding who was it for a moment until he saw Jun’s shocked face peeking into the room. “Oh…” 

“Um… I was going to ask about… lunch?” he said uncertain of himself as he held up a package of pasta. “I was going to make pasta.” 

Nino scratched behind his neck. He wasn’t sure if Jun was actually inviting him to eat lunch with him or was just being kind. “I wouldn’t want to bother you. There should be some cup noodles around here or I can order something,” Nino said thinking that he shouldn’t get his hopes up for something Jun didn’t mean. He smiled as he looked at Jun who was standing on his doorway with a package of pasta and a frown on his face. Why was he frowning again? 

Jun crossed his arms in front of his chest and took a deep breath. “Cup noodles and take-outs aren’t healthy enough,” his voice clearly displeased and his face stern. “I realized that you always order something or eat those rubbish cup noodles.” 

Nino was taken aback. “Um…” 

“So today, you’ll eat something healthy!” Jun announced not leaving any place for any argument as he walked back to the kitchen. 

Nino was just too shocked to react as he simply looked after Jun while he disappeared into the kitchen. He got up, following Jun back to the kitchen. “You don’t have to really,” he said not knowing what else to say. 

“I don’t have to but I want to,” Jun said without looking Nino as he tied the apron which suited really well to him to Nino’s displease. Jun was definitely a dangerous creature to live with, Nino thought as he just stood there at the doorway, watching Jun work efficiently in the kitchen. 

“I haven’t asked but you’re fine with Italian?” Jun asked suddenly.

“Yes,” Nino answered. 

“Do you like it?” Jun asked further, still focused on the task in front of him as he chopped the tomatoes. 

Nino hummed. “Not exactly but I don’t hate it.” 

Jun hummed to that too. “What kind of food do you like then?” Then he chuckled. “Wait, don’t answer that. Because I feel like you’ll say something cheap.”

“I see you started to figure out me, Matsumoto-kun,” Nino said jokingly.

Jun laughed, making Nino smile too. “That makes you sound like a cheapskate.”

“My hobby is saving,” Nino answered seriously. 

Jun snorted. "What kind of hobby is that even?" 

“My mom used to say that if you are going to accumulate stress, then save money instead,” Nino shrugged. 

Jun laughed out loud at that, throwing his head back. It was such a good sound, Nino thought before he could stop himself. Jun looked so young especially when he was laughing like that. It was endearing. 

“Then do you have a favorite food?” Jun asked when he recovered a little. “Or will you just say anything free?” Jun giggled at himself just by thinking about it. 

“How rude,” Nino faked a hurt expression. “Loving cheap things isn’t a crime but you’re wrong. I do have a favorite food.” 

Jun turned to look at him once again, a curious glint shining in his eyes. “Really? Then what is it?”

“Hamburger.” 

“Hamburger?”

“Yes,” Nino nodded. 

“Really?” Jun asked as if he was expecting something different. 

Nino nodded again. “Why? Is it that unexpected?”

“Not at all,” Jun shook his head as he turned his attention back to the pasta. “It’s really easy to make.” 

“Yeah,” Nino agreed, not sure where Jun was trying to get. “So, what’s your favorite food?” Nino asked instead of waiting for him to elaborate on the subject. 

“Crab cream croquette,” Jun answered evenly. 

Nino blinked. “Seriously?” 

Jun just nodded.

"That's cute…” he ended up saying before he could stop himself.  
  
Jun’s movements halted for a moment and Nino could see the slight redness that started to adorn Jun’s cheeks which made Nino blush too. He just called his _husband_ cute… But there was nothing wrong with that right? Because Jun was really unexpectedly cute under that cool façade. Nino scratched his nose, looking anywhere but Jun as the silence stretched. Both didn't know what to say or how to continue the conversation so they let it be while Jun focused on cooking. 

Nino just leaned closer to the wall, watching Jun put various ingredients into the frying pan and stir them with utmost care. He looked so focused and it only made him look somehow more handsome. Nino wondered if he was like this when he was in a meeting for a new role, or something else. Jun didn’t seem like someone who would take his job lightly. He was serious, kind, cute and handsome as hell. He wondered what kind of person Jun is. 

It was then Nino realized it. He wanted to know Jun more. He wanted to get to know him more and it scared Nino; because it had nothing to do with their current situation. Nino simply wanted to know him better, wanted to understand him and his quirks better. It was such a simple desire yet he wasn’t sure if that was allowed. He was afraid that Jun would deny him. He was afraid to be blocked, like the first night they had spent together. He didn’t want Jun to turn his back to him again. He was also afraid to know more. What if Jun had someone? Someone who’s better than Nino. He was such an awesome person, Nino thought as he continued to watch Jun from where he was standing. They were after all married suddenly and someone like Jun could easily have a partner. 

“Can you give me the plates?” 

Nino’s train of thoughts was cut off by Jun’s voice. Nino shook his head to clear his thoughts and moved towards the cupboards to take the plates out. He then laid them side by side and waited for Jun to place pasta on it. The smell of the pasta made Nino’s stomach grumble loudly. Nino hoped that Jun didn’t hear it.

“You hadn’t even had breakfast, had you?” Jun said making Nino blush slightly, apparently, he wasn’t that lucky. 

“I don’t eat that much,” Nino admitted. 

Jun sighed. “But you should.”

Nino pouted. “You’re not my mom.”

“You’re right but…” Jun started only stopping in the middle of his sentence leaving it hanging on the air. Nino looked at him questioningly, but Jun had already turned his back to him and was shuffling around the fridge. “Want some?” he asked, holding out a can of beer and looking at him questioningly. 

“Why not,” he nodded. Nino would never say no to beer. 

Then they sat down to the small dining table, opposite each other. Jun watched Nino waiting nervously, as the latter brought a good amount of pasta to his mouth. He wasn’t used to cooking for other people, and strangely, Nino’s opinion weighed a lot. 

“This is delicious,” Nino wondered out loudly, his words were a bit hard to catch because he was still chewing some of the pasta but it was enough for Jun. The glint in Nino’s eyes was telling everything that Jun wanted to know. He smiled satisfied before starting to eat his own pasta. 

They eat in silence until Nino spoke again. 

“Say, Jun-kun,” the soft, slightly hesitant voice made Jun look at Nino who had put his fork away and was looking down to the table. “Can I ask you something?” 

Jun looked at Nino confused before he answered. Nino looked rather restless as he spoke. “Of course.”

Nino looked at Jun for a second, as if contemplating if he should really ask or not. Nino really didn’t want to mess this up. They were having a good day together but because of that, this might be the only time he could ask Jun about this. 

He took a deep breath, “Do you hate me?” he blurted out.

Jun looked at Nino before he put down his fork too. He rubbed the back of his neck, not knowing how to answer it. 

“I don’t hate you,” he said after a few seconds. “You’re nice, easygoing and… cute…” Jun’s voice trailed off. “It’s just… Honestly, I don’t know how to deal with this. But I don’t hate you.” 

Nino looked at Jun in the eye, wanting to be sure that he was telling the truth. A part of him was trying to cling onto the fact that Jun was an actor and that Nino shouldn’t believe him this easily but he knew it was already too late. 

He smiled then. At least Jun didn’t hate him. This was something. Right?

“Thank you,” Nino mumbled, the genuine smile making Jun’s heart flutter. 

Jun looked away. “It’s nothing…” 

Nino cleared his throat. “Jun-kun, if you’re free this evening, would you like to play some games with me?” Nino offered just to change the atmosphere. 

Jun blinked with surprise. 

“But you should know that I don’t go easy on anyone,” Nino continued. 

That made Jun laugh out loud. “Honestly, I never expected you to.”

“That means you accept the challenge?” Nino crossed his arms in front of his chest looking really confident.

“I never run away,” Jun responded, mimicking Nino’s pose. 

“The one who loses washed the dishes then?” Nino offered his expression way too serious for this kind of deal.

“Deal.” Jun accepted evenly. 

A few seconds passed until they were both laughing out loud, as the two different sounds mingling together perfectly inside the walls of the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late again and I'm sorry about that... It's just... RL isn't going easy on me. 
> 
> Anyways, the whole story is going rather slow. Jun&Nino is stubborn as hell haha I am hoping that they'll come around soon. Hopefully, everyone is still enjoying this fic. The comments are my fuels so please let me hear what you think! Also, you can find me on twitter as @mikunicchi, if, I don't know, you want to be friends or just to talk about anything haha my inbox is always open! 
> 
> -Yukina


	7. Chapter 7

Nino was on the verge of exploding as he heard Oshima-san sighing for the nth time since he had come to fix the broken computer.

“Oshima-san…” Nino heaved a sigh too. “Are you still upset that Matsumoto Jun got married?” he asked finally.

Oshima Miyuki, a happily married office lady who had been almost 40 now, was a big fan of Matsumoto Jun since his early days. Nino had no idea about this until their marriage was made public and Jun talked at the press conference. Nino’s name and face hadn’t been revealed to the public because Nino wished so since well… Nino didn’t want his daily life becoming messier than it already is. He has already had enough being chased by loan sharks, and he certainly didn’t want to deal with the crazy fans.

After the press conference, the majority of the women in his company were disappointed and Nino had to listen to their speculations about Matsumoto Jun’s husband non-stop for at least a month. Some of them were disappointed that Matsumoto Jun came out as gay (even though Jun had never claimed that he was straight, that much, Nino knew) and Nino witnessed some of the women stopping being a fan of Jun because he got married. Some, like Oshima-san, were more resilient about the whole matter. Nino hadn’t actually witnessed Oshima-san talking bad about Jun’s husband or anything. Apparently, she was just shocked. She kept sighing but nothing more. But today, she was unexpectedly down. Nino shook his head. It was a world that he didn’t really understand.

“Not that,” Oshima-san replied Nino with a sad face. “I have already come terms with him being married to a random guy. He’s still my Prince Charming, either way.”

_Random guy… If only you knew,_ Nino thought grimly. “Then why are you sighing like that? You’re only making it hard for me to focus on the system here,” he pointed out the broken computer in front of him as he was typing the confusing codes.

“Today was the day of ballot results,” she said as if that was explaining everything.

Nino looked at Oshima-san blankly. “And that means?” he inquired.

“It means I didn’t hit the ballot for the gala of Matsumoto Jun’s upcoming movie,” she lamented.

“Oh…” Nino murmured before turning back to the codes that he had to type. “So he has a new movie?” He asked, hiding his curiosity behind the mask of indifference.

“Yes!” Oshima-san brightened up immediately as she started talking animatedly, explaining every freaking detail about the movie to Nino. He grinned inwardly. He had never been interested in the entertainment world but now that he was married to Jun, he wanted to know about his husband’s job more. But then again, it would be weird if Nino suddenly started asking about Jun and he also didn't want to look desperate to search him on the internet, so there he was with Oshima-san. She liked Matsumoto Jun fiercely and she would only need a small prodding to talk about the man. Perfect information spot for Nino.

“I have already read the original novel and I can’t wait,” she just kept talking as Nino continued to put some _is that so? that’s interesting, well good for him_ to the suitable places for the sake of keeping Oshima talk. Fortunately, he didn’t have to do more than that as Oshima filled him with the details of the story of a very warm (her words, not Nino’s) love story. Certainly, Nino wasn’t the type of person who would watch romance movies but in the end, he was noting himself to watch the movie when he can.

“Is that so?” Nino hummed listlessly as he continued to fix the computer, a frown of concentration on his face.

“You’re so boring, show some more interest!” Oshima-san protested.

“I don’t have any interest in romance movies and handsome actors, Oshima-san,” Nino clicked his tongue before pushing the chair and going under the table to check the cables. “Seriously how did you even managed to tangle these cables this much?” he grumbled upon seeing the tangled mess. He huffed slightly trying to entangle the cables.

But Oshima-san was unconcerned about Nino’s words as she just continued to talk. “That’s a pity. He’s a really good actor and he’s a really good person, you should at least give him a chance!”

Nino peeked out of the table with an even look on his face. “How do you know he’s a good person? I can understand being a good actor but how can you know he’s a good person. He could just be acting like a good person,” Nino threw sharply despite the fact that he had witnessed how a good guy Jun is very closely. He was bothersome and he had weird quirks but he tried to take care of Nino as much as he could despite his strenuous schedule. Yes, he was a good person but somehow Nino didn’t like the way of people making assumptions about him like that. Oshima-san was a harmless one, Nino knew. Oshima-san was ultimately a fan of Jun and Nino also knew that there were worse opinions about Jun. He was just frustrated that no one actually knew Jun and they still talked so freely about him. They had no idea how kind Jun actually is yet they were all talking.

Oshima-san was taken aback by the sudden harsh words of Nino as she shifted somehow uncomfortably, not knowing how to answer. Seeing that Nino decided to let it go. “Just kidding. If you say he’s a good person, then he is,” Nino smiled, softening the atmosphere. “You’re the biggest fan of his after all,” Nino grinned.

Oshima-san smiled. “True, Matsumoto-san is a good person!”

Before Nino could say anything further, someone walked into the room. “Are you talking Nino’s head off with Matsumoto Jun again, Oshima-san?” Nino looked up to see another girl from the same department, Kurosawa Sachiko, sitting on the opposite desk with a grin on her face. Nino didn’t exactly like Kurosawa Sachiko if he had to be absolutely honest. She was the opposite of Oshima who was rather chubby and cute with short hair. Kurosawa was strikingly beautiful, with long black hair and she was somehow hitting on Nino, which he didn’t like at all. Well, he wasn’t into women, after all. There was no way for Nino to like Kurosawa, even though she didn't know that.

“I’m not, right, Ninomiya-san?” Oshima looked at Nino who had just agreed. “I was just talking about Matsumoto Jun’s upcoming movie.”

“Why are you still a fan of him? He's gay,” Kurosawa asked with disgust dripping her voice. Nino didn’t react as he was already used to people who still thought like that.

“That doesn’t have anything to do with me being his fan,” Oshima answered stiffly.

Kurosawa laughed, it was a sound that Nino didn’t like at all. “Seriously, he’s not even that good, you know. I heard he got into the agency without any audition, I bet he slept with that old president.”

Nino felt his blood boiling. He tried to calm himself. “And how are you the one to judge that?” Nino heard himself speaking before he could stop himself or before Oshima-san can say anything. This was what he meant when he said those words to Oshima-san. “As far as I remember, Kurosawa-san, you had a picture of Matsumoto Jun standing next to your computer. Apparently, he was good enough for you at that time but now he isn’t? Because he’s married to a guy?” he asked sharply.

That shut Kurosawa up. Nino threw her a cold glance, tackling with the keyboard for a few more moments in silence as both women in the room were just too surprised about Nino’s behavior.

“This should do it,” he spoke finally. “If you have further problems don’t hesitate to call Oshima-san.”

He then turned around to go out of the room calmly, not looking at Kurosawa. The moment he walked out of the room, Oshima-san’s voice stopped him.

“Ninomiya-kun!”

“Yes?” Nino turned around to face Oshima.

“If you’re not interested in romance, then maybe you should try watching the next movie Matsumoto is currently shooting. It’s an action movie,” She grinned while Nino rolled his eyes and turned back to walk away without even needing to reply to her.

***

Nino leaned back on his chair looking at the ceiling absentmindedly. He was alone in the room that belonged to the IT department while everyone has gone to lunch. _Action movie huh,_ Nino thought. Maybe that was the reason why Jun looked utterly tired lately. But wouldn’t an actor in Matsumoto Jun’s class have at least one or two stuntmen? Nino heaved a sigh, somehow knowing the answer even without the need to ask Jun. He was sure that the stubborn man Jun is, he would refuse using a stuntman as much as he can avoid… and that is probably the explanation of the exhaustion that Nino kept seeing in Jun.

“That idiot,” Nino mumbled feeling rather disheartened. There was nothing he can do to help Jun. Or maybe he couldn’t think of anything else. He didn’t think that waiting for Jun to return home wasn’t something that actually helped him and he had no idea about how to help an actor.

That was when his phone started to ring in the empty room, bringing Nino back to reality. His eyes grew wider as soon as he took his phone out of the pockets of his suits pants and saw the ID of his caller.

“Yes?” Nino immediately answered to phone, straightening on his chair.

_“Hey, is this a good time to talk?”_ Jun asked from the other side of the line.

“Perfectly,” Nino squeaked nervously. He was embarrassed about his reaction to a mere phone call but this was the first time Jun was calling him from his private phone since the time they exchanged numbers. Until that time Nino had always had Taichi-san contacting him and it certainly felt strange receiving a direct call from Jun now. He was just glad that other staff was out for lunch.

_“I can’t talk too long I’m sorry but I wanted to ask if you are free tonight?”_ Jun asked quickly. Nino could clearly hear the noises in the background, someone yelling the cameraman or whatsoever.

“I am,” Nino answered immediately, not wanting to keep Jun away for too long.

_“Great! I was wondering if you would like to come to dinner with me and my grandfather? He had been inviting us for a while but I only managed to free tonight's schedule… I’m sorry for telling you in such short notice,”_ Jun talked hastily, once again Nino felt sorry for the actor for having such a busy schedule.

“It’s okay, my only plan was to go home and play some games so I’m pretty much free,” Nino reassured him again.

_“Thank you, Kazu!”_ Jun released a relieved sigh. _“I’ll pick you up from your office around six then! See you then!”_

“You don’t have to-” Nino tried to say but he was cut by an angry shout from the other side of the line.

_“Get Matsumoto here if he values his career-”_ Nino heard before Jun’s voice suppressed the angry sound. _“I’m sorry, I really have to go. See you tonight,”_ Jun said, his voice calm despite someone screaming his name. Jun cut the call before Nino could utter anything else.

“Take care,” Nino mumbled to the empty line, biting his lower lip. He again, wondered what he can do for Jun but failing to come up with anything again.

Nino leaned back to his chair, leaving his phone on his desk and he closed his eyes. He was undeniably worried about Jun.

***

Jun gave his phone back to Taichi-san again before rushing back to the scene where the angry director was yelling.

“We don’t pay you to spend your time talking to whoever on the phone Matsumoto!” The director shouted.

Jun tried not to let his word get to him. This one particular movie has been rather draining for him both mentally and physically. The director, Sakashita-san was a well-known director who didn’t really like Jun and there was nothing Jun can do about it.

“I’m sorry,” Jun said, bowing slightly to the director, not wanting to create more argument even though he had done nothing wrong.

The director grumbled something Jun didn't want to hear before they went to their positions in front of the camera. The lights that were hitting his skin felt hot and uncomfortable as he focused on his role as the reckless detective and to his lines. His co-actress was someone Jun knew from her early days. A beautiful woman with long legs and perfect curves. Despite the obvious fact that he wasn’t interested in women, Jun couldn't help but find her beautiful.

Suddenly, as if triggered by that thought, his mind wandered to Nino for a tiny second as he couldn't help but compare the beauty of his husband. The close proximity that he had with the woman in front of him made him wonder how Nino’s skin would feel against his. He wondered if he would ever be able to see the glint in Nino’s eyes this up close. Jun was perfectly aware that Nino wasn't someone whom you could call as the divine beauty but he had something more than just beauty. He was-

"CUT!"

Jun snapped out of his thoughts and his role within that moment. He turned to look at the angry director.

"Matsumoto, you call that acting?! Again, from the start!" he huffed as the staff started to shuffle around the set fixing things. The hairstylist and make artists were also fixing Jun even though he was sure that everything was in its place. "This is why I hate the popular," he heard the director grumbling, not even minding that Jun was there to hear him. Jun stood motionless, while Taichi-san came towards him as if he needed to inform him about something.

"Jun-kun, say something and we will leave," he whispered, looking at Jun in the eye. Jun could clearly see Taichi-san was pissed off with the director's behavior. However, this time the director was right when he was yelling.

Jun smiled, even though it was a tired one. Jun hated to run away and Taichi-san knew that. “It’s okay, Taichi-san,” Jun reassured him softly, despite all the exhaustion he was feeling. “Only a few more hours,” Jun murmured more to himself.

The shouting director at the back of the set to the cameraman, to stylist, even to the actress and Jun felt a headache coming with full force.

“You should at least take a break,” Taichi-san told him, concerned as he knew the signs that Jun was showing. The kid forced himself to the point of breaking down more often than not, and Taichi couldn’t not worry about him.

“I already did two weeks ago,” Jun reminded him, knowing fully well that only a day is not enough yet it was what he could have at most. “What’s our schedule for tomorrow?” he asked in order to change the topic.

Taichi-san immediately opened his agenda, a frown of concentration telling Jun that they were pretty much packed.

“A couple of photoshoots for the magazines, and then there’s the shooting for a variety in NTV. After that the night shooting for this movie,” Taichi-san confirmed.

Jun hummed. “Alright,” he didn’t comment further when the director started yelling back to him.

“MATSUMOTO! I don’t want another mistake!”

Jun took a deep breath before he took his place again, in front of the actress. Jun inclined his head towards her as a greeting as they waited for the director's signal.

“Ready! Action!!” came the signal from afar and Jun was in his role again while willing himself to focus on the task in front of him, and willed himself not to think about Nino again. Especially if he wanted this to be over as soon as possible.

***

“CUT!”

Jun backed away, while the actress scurried away putting as much as the distance between herself and Jun. He just stood there, waiting for the approval of the director as they checked the monitors.

The clock was ticking and Jun was past the state of exhaustion when the director gave okay for that day’s shooting. It was a long day, he thought as he released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding when he got into the car.

He was aware that Taichi was eyeing him through the mirror as Jun closed his eyes for the time being. He wanted to send Taichi home since he was sure that the older man was also tired but he didn’t trust himself to drive. There was a comfortable silence in the car, except for the soft humming of the engine. Jun let his body and mind to rest for a bit.

His mind once again wandered back to Nino before he could himself to stop. This was constant since the day they had spent together and he wasn’t going to lie, it scared Jun.

It was such a good day, Jun can’t help but think. Having someone right beside you, sharing meals with that person, talking and discovering each other, playing games and joking about the things and laughing together… Jun felt like those had never happened to him until now, even though he had had a few relationships in the past. It almost felt _normal_, and Jun hadn’t felt normal for so long.

It was dangerous, Jun was painfully aware of that. He kept reminding himself that Nino had Aiba, even though the latter had never spoken of Aiba since the day of their wedding. Yet, there was the obvious fact; more than that, the obvious affection of the two had towards each other.

A part of him, the hopeful part of him was telling him not to jump into a conclusion. That he should ask Nino if he was that curious. But he was afraid to ask. No, he was afraid of the answer.

The more he thought about it, the more he wanted; and the more he wanted, the more he got scared. It was a vicious circle yet, Jun couldn’t break it. Nino was almost like the forbidden Apple. The glint in his eyes, the sound of his boisterous laughter, his curvy lips, that perfect outline of his face and his intelligence… It was hard to resist someone like him and Jun was afraid that if he were to touch it, he would burn.

However, he wanted to touch, even if it made him burn. He was willing to burn.

The sleep-deprived thoughts were simply getting wilder but Jun couldn't will himself to stop. He was just too tired to rein back his thoughts as they kept spreading like an outbreak.

He vaguely realized the car stopping and the door opening. He was way too gone to comprehend the talk going on in the background. But he was awake enough to feel the soft, hesitant touch on his cheek, and he was definitely awake enough to realize that someone was replacing his head on their shoulder. It was Nino. That's the only explanation and the knowledge made Jun's heartbeat a mile in a second. He didn't, couldn't open his eyes, as the selfish side of his wanted to savor the moment, the close proximity between the man that has been mercilessly invading his thoughts for days. He just let himself to live this moment, inhaling Nino's sweet, fresh scent. It almost felt like coming home, despite that this was only going to continue for a tiny moment until he had to wake up. The safe heaven that he has to leave way too soon.

_Am I allowed to fall in love with you?_ was the question that resonated in Jun's mind as the sleep claimed him completely.

_Am I allowed to receive love from you?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting schedule? What is that even? *facepalm*  
But at least I am somehow updating it weekly haha  
I literally couldn't help giving Oshima-san a role here as the Jun admirer because she's absolutely one of my favorite Jun fangirl haha (I wonder if I can somehow make Utahiroba make an appearance too lmao)  
I feel like it has been a while since we saw Jun's POV and the next chapters will probably make them see their relationship from a new aspect (hopefully!) so that they can get closer and all >.<
> 
> My special thanks (especially for this chapter) to @gomushroom for listening to my rambles about the fic and @my lovely waifu Bon for letting me ramble despite the fact that she's buys 
> 
> Again every comment is a bless for me :") <3


	8. Chapter 8

Nino fiddled with his phone as he waited anxiously in the underground parking. Jun was late. But Nino knew he would be late since Taichi-san called him to inform him that they will be late. It was okay, Nino could understand that it wasn’t just Jun who had the control over his schedule. It was just… he was worried about him being too busy.

When the van that had black films on the windows stopped in front of him, Nino looked around, slightly worried that someone will see him. But no, there was no one around. He opened the door, taking a look inside.

“Kazunari-kun,” Taichi-san greeted him with a low voice from the driver's seat while Nino’s eyes landed on the figure that was sleeping at the backseat. “Let him sleep,” Taichi-san added soon and Nino’s eyes turned to him for a moment. “It was a hard day.”

Nino lowered his head, as he climbed into the car, closing the door behind himself. For a moment he was lost as he considered where to sit but in the end, he went to sit next to Jun.

Inside the car was silent. The soft hum of the engine and Jun’s sleeping breathe was the only sound that was slightly reminding Nino that this was the real world. Nino looked at Jun, who had been sleeping with a weird posture but he was very aware of the fact that sleeping was hardly comfortable in a car. His eyebrows were drawn closer with a frown again and Nino couldn’t help himself as he chuckled silently. “What are you even dreaming?” he sighed as his hand unconsciously moved towards Jun’s face before he could even think what he was doing.

Nino gasped at the sensation when his fingertips made a contact with Jun’s cheek. Jun’s skin was warm under his hands as he gently caressed Jun’s cheek so that he won’t wake up. Then with an urgent need to do so, Nino pulled Jun closer to himself, letting him rest his head on his shoulder. Jun’s body felt rigid for a moment before he relaxed and warm next to Nino. He felt a knot on his throat while Jun’s scent filled his senses. The spicy scent with the hint of sandalwood that mixed perfectly together was just so tempting. And Nino was sure that it wasn’t just the power of perfume from some luxury brands. There was something more. Maybe because it was Jun, and his own unique scent heightening the effect of the perfume, or maybe it was Nino’s mind that was playing its tricks. It made Nino wanting to lean closer and bury his nose to the crook of Jun’s neck. Nino closed his eyes for a second, trying to control himself. This wasn’t the time to lust over his husband, his logic screamed. He wasn’t even sure he was allowed to do so. Nino tried to reason and calm himself, but when Jun moved closer, snuggling closer to Nino as if it was the most natural thing to do, he was sure that it was impossible to rein his thoughts back.

Nino exhaled silently, opening his eyes and inclined his head slightly to look at the handsome face of his husband. He gasped at the sight to see that the frown and the restless expression on Jun’s face have ceased and he was looking rather peaceful as his sleeping breath landed on Nino’s shoulder.

_Is there anything I can do for you?_ Nino questioned while his hand unconsciously reached out to stroke his hair. The softness of Jun’s hair surprised Nino for a moment as he stroked his hair ever so gently, careful not to wake him up. This was the only thing he could actually think of in order to help Jun.

“Taichi-san,” he called out softly for the manager that was sitting on the driver’s seat.

“Hmm?” Taichi acknowledged him without looking.

“Is he okay?” Nino asked, straightforwardly. There was no need to beat around the bush.

Taichi looked at the back seat through the rearview mirror, his eyes briefly meeting with Nino’s eyes. The look Nino saw in those eyes was almost reflecting his own worries.

“He works too much,” Taichi answered, his eyes focused on the road but Nino could clearly hear the worry from his voice. “The current director is harsh,” he added, not really sure if he should elucidate more.

“I see,” Nino mumbled, his eyes once again focusing on Jun’s face. “I wonder if there’s anything I can do for him…” Nino wondered, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Nino could feel Taichi looking at them as he refused to meet his gaze. “I think you’re already doing enough, Kazunari-kun,” he could almost hear the smile from Taichi’s voice when he talked. “But maybe, you can convince him to take you to a honeymoon?” Taichi suggested. “You guys haven’t had a honeymoon vacation because of Jun’s schedule, after all. You should try to get away after the crank up of this movie. How about Okinawa? He loves surfing.”

Nino smiled slightly. “I’m not exactly someone who likes going out, to be honest,” he confessed.

“Is that so?”

“Sometimes, I just feel like a hindrance in his life,” Nino hadn’t look away from Jun’s face as he voiced his worries towards a complete stranger.

Taichi turned around to look at him when they stopped at the red light. “What? That’s stupid.”

Nino smiled bitterly finally looking back at Taichi. “Come on, Taichi-san, he is the Matsumoto Jun that whole country loves. He could have had anyone he wanted. Not a plain guy whose only feature is to play games like me.”

“That’s not true, Kazunari-kun,” Taichi told him with a serious voice as the car started moving once again. “It’s surprisingly a lonely life, so I’m happy that now he has you,” he adds. “I know that it was an arranged thing, but I can assure you that you’re good for him,” Taichi looked at the couple from the mirror with a smile on his face. “He had been smiling more since you guys moved in together.”

Nino blinked with surprise, feeling his face getting hotter. “That’s…”

Taichi just chuckled, not exactly continuing the conversation, he just let Nino face with his own thoughts.

***

“...-kun. Jun-kun!”

Jun groaned as he slowly came to his senses. Someone was shaking him softly.

“We’re here, Jun-kun.”

The same person told him but he just wanted to continue sleeping, so he snuggled closer to the sweet and welcoming warmth that was next to him and wrapped his arms around it. The movements of the other person’s body came into a halt suddenly, giving him the chance to tighten his arms.

Jun heard someone clearing his throat and another one shook him again, this time more forcefully. “Jun-kun, Nobuyuki-san is waiting for you guys.”

The owner of the voice, who was most probably Taichi-san, shook him until he groaned discontentedly. His manager certainly knew how to wake him up, an ability that he honed over the years he had been together with Jun.

Jun grunted and detached himself from the sweet warmth, looking around blearily for a moment.

“Good morning,” Taichi-san said when Jun looked at him, then he saw Nino, who was looking at anywhere but Jun. _Did I do something?_ Jun wondered for a moment but it wasn't the time to dwell on thoughts.

Jun cleared his throat and pushed the bangs that had fallen onto his eyes. "I'm sorry," he mumbled apologetically.

"Why are you apologizing for?" Taichi-san asked almost angrily. "When was the last time you had a good sleep? It's just normal."

Jun thought about answering two weeks ago, but he was too tired to argue with his manager about the same subject on the same day.

"I'll try to rearrange your schedule for tomorrow," Taichi-san added, making Jun look at him with a frown on his face.

"And why is that?" Jun demanded, his eyes burning holes on his manager.

"You need rest, Jun-kun," Taichi-san stood firmly against the actor's anger.

However, Jun wasn't easy to convince. "I don't need your sympathy over my schedule. Please do not make any changes without informing me first," he said finally, getting out of the car. He barely noticed Nino following him between his fuming as he walked towards the building.

Once they got into the small elevator, Jun inhaled deeply to control his anger and closed his eyes for a moment as he slumped against the wall of the small elevator. He was well aware that Taichi-san meant well but he didn’t like to be seen as weak. Jun exhaled, snapping to his manager would do no good to him.

It was Nino who broke the silence.

“He’s just worried you know,” Nino spoke softly, making Jun open his eyes and look at him. Nino’s eyes were looking directly at him without the usual awkwardness between them.

Jun sighed. “I know,” he said as he rubbed his face frustratedly, looking everywhere but Nino.

“I am worried too,” Nino confessed, still looking at Jun intensely, not averting his gaze.

That made Jun feel guilty.

“I don’t know a single thing about your work,” Nino continued. “And that worries me more because I don’t know how I can help you. Or more like, if there’s anything I can do for you at all,” he admitted, finally looking away.

Jun looked at Nino’s face, surprised by the sudden confession of his husband. Nino’s ears were red for some reason and Jun somehow found that endearing.

“I’m fine, Kazu,” Jun said, finally smiling a bit. It was a tired one, but it was a smile nonetheless. “But… thank you,” he added, slightly bashful as he looked away.

To his luck, the elevator’s door opened at that moment. Jun looked at Nino once again, as he smiled. “Let’s go, grandpa must be waiting.”

Jun watched Nino look at him for a moment before he nodded and followed Jun out of the elevator.

***

The moment they had walked into the small apartment of Matsumoto Nobuyuki, Jun was overwhelmed with a certain sense of nostalgia. He hugged his grandfather without a second thought, he had certainly missed him.

The old man laughed. "You should come more often!" he complained softly while he slowly patted his grandson's back.

"I'm sorry," Jun murmured feeling guilty. He really should visit his grandfather more, but his schedule didn't let him. He had been trying to call him every day but of course, it wasn't the same.

Nobuyuki pushed him a bit back and took a look at Jun. "Have you been eating well? You look like you've lost a lot of weight," he said with a frown.

Jun chuckled. "I'm supposed to be, don't worry. I have a new role coming up," he smiled proudly.

Nobuyuki didn't seem convinced but he let Jun go. Nagging him would do no good, after all.

"Also look," Jun continued, moving away from the doorway to let Nino in. "I brought Kazu too!"

Nobuyuki's face lit up with a smile that made Jun feel content with himself for once.

"Kazunari-kun!" Nobuyuki exclaimed and went to hug Nino who had been awkwardly standing beside the door. "Thank you for coming! Here, come in! I made dinner!"

The old man ushered them to into the house, which was a fairly normal apartment with two bedrooms and a living room with a connected kitchen. There was a small dining table and it has already been set up with warm dinner. The smell of miso soup made both Jun and Nino's mouth water.

"Here, let's eat," Nobuyuki excitedly made them sit down side by side while he rushed back to the kitchen to bring another set of dinnerware for Nino. “Jun hasn’t mentioned that you were coming! I’m glad I made a lot!”

“You always make a lot!” Jun protested lightly.

His grandfather laughed heartily, which made Jun smile too. It felt good to be at home, he thought. No matter where he went, this place was the only place that he could be carefree and be himself.

It was that moment he caught Nino looking at him with a soft smile beautifully adorning his curvy lips. His body was turned towards him and he was leaning towards the table and resting his elbows on it. “You look happy,” Nino commented, slowly resting his cheek on his hand. The softness of Nino’s voice almost made him blush.

He wanted to look away but the glimmer in Nino’s eyes had captured him as if he had cast a spell on Jun. Was it the light? Or was it something else? Jun wasn’t sure but he simply couldn’t look away.

“It’s good to see you two getting along so well together,” his grandfather commented where he was standing. That made both of them blush. Nobuyuki walked back to the dining table, with a tray that had Nino’s portion. “Tell me Kazunari-kun, is my son being a nice husband to you?” he asked when he sat down on his place.

“Grandpa, we’re…” Jun started, immediately stopping in mid-sentence. We’re not like that? There was no way he could say that to his grandfather. While Jun was contemplating what to say, Nino answered instead of him.

“He’s hard to deal with in the mornings, but he is really kind,” Nino spoke smiling to his grandfather.

Nobuyuki sighed. “He has always been a night owl.”

“Hey!” Jun protested.

“His mood is the worst in the mornings,” Nino continued complaining, unaffected by Jun. “And he keeps frowning, all the time.”

“I don’t frown that much,” Jun frowned.

“Yes, you are. And you’re frowning now,” Nino pointed Jun with his forefinger, grinning evilly.

Jun blinked with surprise, then pouted, which made Nino laugh out loud.

“And he is cute like this,” he then told Nobuyuki, and somehow, Jun could hear the sincerity on Nino’s voice.

Nobuyuki released a relieved breath. “Thank you, Kazunari-kun. I was very worried that I forced you two to marry each other, I wanted neither you nor my son to be unhappy…” he trailed off before looking at Jun. “What about you, son?”

Jun gulped. He would be lying if he hated Nino. But he would also be lying to his grandfather if he told him that they were doing perfectly. So, he just wanted to be honest. “Grandpa…” he started and took a look at Nino, who was also looking at him with an unreadable expression. “It happened too suddenly,” he confessed, lowering his gaze to the most harmless thing on the table, which was the miso soup. “But I like him,” he then confessed, slightly bashful as the words hung on the air. “He’s good to me,” he finally looked at his grandfather in the eye.

Nobuyuki smiled gently. “No relationship is perfect from the start, my son.”

Both Jun and Nino let the words sink into them._ No relationship is perfect from the start._

Then Nobuyuki decided that was the end of the talk. "For now, I am very pleased to finally have both of my sons here!" Nobuyuki said. "Both of you should eat a lot!"

Jun looked at Nino and smiled when their eyes met. He could see the redness of Nino’s ears, which only made Jun’s smile widen. _He just called me cute but he’s the one who’s cute,_ Jun couldn’t help but think.

***

The rest of the dinner went uneventful until Nobuyuki started to tell stories of Jun’s childhood. Most of the embarrassing stories were out in front of Nino and he was still cackling when they got into the taxi.

“Can you stop laughing?” Jun groaned.

“But it was funny!” Nino protested.

“It wasn’t!”

Nino giggled. “Jun-chan is cute.”

Jun eyed Nino. “Why are you calling me Jun-chan?”

“Why? Can’t I?” Nino looked innocently at Jun.

“You’ll do it even if I told you to stop, right?” Jun huffed. “Brat.”

Nino blinked, surprised with the choice of Jun’s words.

“What?” Jun asked curiously. “Did I say something weird?”

Nino shook his head and smiled. “No, it’s just… It feels like it’s been a while since I last heard someone call me a brat.”

“Well, I can call you like that as many times as you like,” Jun commented nonchalantly, as he looked out of the window while taxi moved swiftly in the night city.

After a few seconds of silence, Nino spoke. This time, his voice bear no humor and was as raw as it can be. “Jun-kun… Thank you for letting me come today.”

“Ah… No, I should thank you instead, for coming. It made grandpa really happy,” he smiled, and despite himself, he added. “And please don’t worry about what I’ve said in front of grandpa. I don’t have any intentions to interrupt your current life.”

Nino looked at him without saying anything. A lot of emotions whirled in his eyes, it was hard to read. He suddenly looked sad. _Why are you sad?_ Jun wanted to ask. But he couldn’t. He probably shouldn’t. _Unlike me, you have Aiba-san,_ the thought clouded Jun’s mind, as he just turned away from Nino and looked out of the window again. The clenching around his heart made it hard to breathe, but Jun decided that this was okay. He can’t force his feelings on Nino after all and he certainly didn’t want to be spoiled by Nino’s kindness more than this. It just made things worse for Jun, he was aware of it.

_You have to stay strong,_ he told himself like a mantra.

“Jun-kun…” Nino startled him with suddenly.

“Yes?” he asked turning his head to look at Nino.

“Well… um… Since you let me come today, I was wondering if you’d like to come to meet my family too?”

Jun tried to read Nino’s expression but he couldn’t. Instead, he just nodded. “If you’d allow me,” he answered.

Nino smiled. “Thank you.”

And that was the last thing they talked about that night. That night, Jun fell asleep with the Nino’s smile on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm terribly late again but uh I have never been this busy OTL Also as heads up; I will be starting up to a course which involves with my future if I'll have a job or not, so I may not be able to update the story for a while (as if I've been updating it with a schedule ugh) So I apologize for that in advance. I just didn't want to leave everyone on hold in case updates become *too* slow.  
But hey! There's some improvement here in Jun and Nino's relationship!!! Let me read your comments <3


	9. Chapter 9

Nino was cooking. And this was definitely not like him. He wasn’t someone who would cook, let alone cook for someone else. But there he was, cooking a recipe that he researched thoroughly on the internet, in Jun’s fancy kitchen. He was immersed in what he was doing, despite the TV in the living room was being turned on to dismiss the silence of the house. As someone who rarely cooks, he couldn’t risk a failure especially that day.

It wasn’t anything special, Nino kept telling himself that. It has been six months since they got married, and it was stupid to think about a half-year anniversary when they weren’t even acting like a married couple towards each other. But after the dinner they had together in Jun’s grandfather’s house, Nino felt like something was moving along between them. He didn’t dare to voice it but he still felt it. So when he received a message from Taichi-san a day before, telling Nino that Jun would be home earlier on that day, he just wanted to do something for Jun. For once, Nino wanted to try. He wanted to let Jun into his life and today he was even planning to invite him to Aiba’s family restaurant. That’s how he convinced himself to research for a recipe for crab cream croquettes, leave the company slightly earlier than he would usually leave, and go to the supermarket to buy ingredients.

_“And tonight’s guest is Matsumoto Jun!”_

He jumped with surprise when he heard Jun’s name being announced by the hyped MC on the TV. He craned his neck around to look at the screen.

The face he saw on the screen reflected no tiredness and was as perfect as it can be. The black suits that he was wearing were fitting onto his shape well, showing off his broad shoulders and his confident stance. His smile looked warm, professional and too charming for Nino's good which was rather annoying. _It’s not fair,_ he thought before he could even stop himself. Jun looked too good to be true, but then again, that was his job, in a sense?

_“ It has been a while since you last came here,”_ The MC spoke animatedly while Jun was sitting at the guest chair. _“Nine months, wow!”_

_“But we saw each other the other day!”_ Jun protested with a merry laugh.

_“That’s true,”_ The MC agreed as they proceed the talk.

Leaving what he was doing for a while, Nino started watching the show, half-listening to the conversation that was going on between Jun and the MC but his mind couldn't focus anything else than Jun’s smile. Who could blame him when Jun was laughing that adorably?

At times like this, Nino was reminded that what kind of world Jun lived in. The stage lights directed on him was showing nothing but perfection and his dazzling presence were doing all the talking, as Nino watched him. He stood there, looking like he had nothing that he was afraid, so full of confidence and so certain. Nino couldn’t help but compare this with Jun he got to know.

Sometimes, this whole ordeal threw Nino out of the loop. Being married to Matsumoto Jun, that is. Nino had been coming back to home, _to him,_ every night without a fail. Jun was someone who Nino had seen on TV or on a huge billboard hung on the third platform of Yamanote Line. Yet, with this marriage, even though it wasn’t planned at all; he had been able to see a hidden world, a place that no one knows and he got to meet a Jun that no one knew.

It made Nino smile softly, for a moment. But he immediately shook his head. He shouldn’t be falling for Jun. They had an agreement, a mutual understanding regarding their situation and that was all. Nino shouldn’t be hoping for something more than Jun’s kindness. Because he knew that the more he wanted, the more he would be disappointed. So he just reached out for the remote controller and turned the television off, before moving back to the kitchen.

Facing the counter again, he checked his wristwatch, it was still early for Jun to be back, so he decided to finish cooking and wait for Jun to have dinner.

***

Jun stretched his sore back as he handed the designer jacket he had been wearing for the shooting to the stylist. It had been another long day, spent inside the TV station. At this point, Jun was almost certain that he had seen more spotlights than he had seen the sun. He walked back into the green room that was assigned to him while thinking that he had finished earlier than he had expected.

“Jun-kun.”

He was immediately greeted by his manager who looked rather troubled when he opened the door.

“Taichi-san? Did something happen?” Jun asked with a worried frown.

Taichi looked away as he scratched his head. “I just got a call from my wife and…” he hesitated.

“And?” Jun urged him.

“She said Shizu-chan got a fever and that she was asking for me,” he looked troubled.

“You should go then,” Jun told the worried father.

“But I…”

“Today’s already over, right?” Jun asked immediately, revising his own schedule in his head at the same time. He wouldn’t want to keep Taichi-san away from his family more than he already is. It was one of the rare days he got to finish before 19.00.

“Yes, but I should drive you-” Taichi started only to be cut by Jun immediately.

“I can most certainly manage to get home by myself, Taichi-san,” he said firmly, before adding with a softer tone. “It’s okay, really.”

For a moment, Taichi-san looked like he didn’t know what to do. But after a moment of battling with himself, he decided to do as Jun said.

“Thank you very much, Matsumoto-san,” he bowed deeply.

Jun smiled encouragingly. “Go home, Taichi-san. Say hi to Shizu-chan from me as well.”

Taichi-san bowed deeply again, before turning around and rushing out of the room and leaving Jun alone. The room buried into silence as he sat down onto the tatami. He looked at the white wall for a long second before letting out a sigh. His green room was three tatami size and there was a small table in the middle. There was an unopened bottle of water and a few snacks. His bag was next to the small table and his personal clothes were hanging on the hanger. He should get changed and head home since he had no other plans. But he just couldn’t move due to his exhaustion as he just fell back onto the tatami. He tiredly raised his right arm and placed it on his eyes, guarding them against the bright whiteness of the fluorescent.

He had been working hard. Even he himself was aware of it. But he had always worked hard since he had known himself. And he most certainly didn’t think of it as a bad thing. But for the first time, he felt like his hectic schedule was causing Taichi-san a lot of trouble.

Unlike him, Taichi-san actually had a _family,_ after all.

Well, he was also married now but there was no way he and Nino would become a family for real. Even the thought of it felt surreal to Jun. He shook his head just to dismiss the thought of Nino when there was a knock on his door.

“Yes?” Jun grunted his reply, as he had to straighten himself from where he was laying.

The door opened, revealing no other than Ikuta Toma with his big grin on his face. “Can I come in?”

“No,” he replied immediately while rolling his eyes.

“Sorry for the sudden intrusion. I saw Taichi-san just now and thought you might be still around,” Toma said walking inside without even bothering himself with Jun’s refusal.

“My luck,” Jun exhaled tiredly.

“So you were about to leave, huh,” Toma sat down on the tatami next to Jun as he faced Jun, his grin never leaving despite Jun’s dismay.

“You can say so.”

“Which means you don’t have anything after this?”

“Yes,” Jun answered hesitantly. He didn’t have anything else to do than to go home and catch up with some sleep.

“I also finished just now,” Toma beamed. “It’s been a while since we last hang out. How about dinner?”

***

Nino checked his watch again, as he stood in front of the table he had set. He grimaced when he saw that it was nearing midnight and there was no sign of Jun coming back home despite what Taichi-san said before. He bit his lip as he looked at the small dining table he had set. He had already wrapped the croquettes and they were ready to be reheated anytime but Nino started to think that it wasn’t necessary anymore.

He had tried to contact Taichi-san, and then to Jun, but when he didn’t receive any replies from both, he just had to accept that Jun wasn’t going to be coming home that night. He had opted to eat another instant ramen when he realized that Jun indeed wasn’t going to come back.

It shouldn’t be hurting like this, Nino thought. This wasn’t the first time Jun didn’t come home, and he wasn’t going to expect Jun to act like he actually cared about Nino, he thought stubbornly as he started to clean the table. Yes, Jun was attentive but that didn’t mean that he cared about Nino in the way that Nino wanted.

Nino’s hand stopped in mid-air. _In the way he wanted?_ What did he even want in the first place? They were only married because Nino had no other choice and Jun wanted to make his grandfather happy. Nothing more, nothing less. Jun didn’t love him. Jun wasn’t going to love him. So what was Nino expecting from him? His company? Friendship? It has to be something like that because no, he wasn’t going to get love from Jun. He shouldn’t be hindering Jun with his feelings. It wouldn’t do any good for them. It was his fault for hoping more than he should have been. A hopeful part of him hadn’t given up and it was rather bothersome, Nino sighed.

That was the moment he heard some noises from the door. It was the sound of keys trying to fit the hole rather clumsily but when Nino got out of the kitchen and moved towards the door, it was already open and Jun was swaying dangerously on the entrance. He didn’t realize Nino as he struggled to take his shoes off but stumbled on his own foot while doing so. Nino frowned as he rushed to catch Jun before he fell and hurt himself.

Jun exhaled sharply when Nino caught him. His eyes were swimming and Nino could say how drunk he was even without the strong smell of alcohol coming from him.

“Kazu?” Jun asked as if he was trying to confirm that he was indeed facing Nino.

“Yes?” Nino replied, trying not to be too affected by how close Jun was standing.

Jun smiled, and oh, how sweet that smile was while he leaned heavily to Nino. “I’m home.”

“You are late,” Nino commented.

“Toma…” Jun told Nino as if that explained everything. However, if Nino had to be honest, he didn’t give a damn to Toma at this point.

"Let's get you to the bed," was the only thing Nino said as he started dragging Jun towards his bedroom.

Nino didn't think that he would see Jun's room in this kind of circumstance. But when he let Jun sit down on the semi-double bed, he couldn't help himself looking around the room for a bit. He could see the big closet and a desk where numerous papers scattered on it. The room was furnished well, just like the remaining of the house. When his eyes landed on the framed photos that stood on the nightstand, it suddenly felt like he was intruding Jun's personal space. Nino averted his gaze, looking at Jun once again and helped him out of his jacket.

"Mad?" Jun asked cutely while Nino took off his glasses and placed them neatly onto the nightstand.

Nino didn't answer the question at first, but when Jun asked it again he had to answer.

"Why would I?"

Jun smiled and did something that Nino was expecting the least. He reached out for Nino and grabbed his hand as he fell to the bed, pulling Nino with him. Nino, who was caught off guard, couldn't help as he fell onto Jun's chest, breathlessly. They were so close that Nino could smell the sandalwood with Jun's own unique scent despite the strong fragrance of the alcohol.

“I love it when you smile at me and say _welcome back,_” Jun slurred.

"Jun-kun…" Nino inhaled sharply, as he tried to get up and _get away_ from Jun, because he just can't stand there, so close to him while his heart roared with a dangerous amount of desire and need for Jun. However, he couldn't move when his eyes locked to Jun's fierce ones. Something in those eyes, forbid Nino from moving, from breathing. He was unable to move, unable to leave. He was trapped by the whirlwind of raw emotions he saw deep in Jun's eyes.

Their lips were merely a few centimeters away when Jun talked again.

“You always make it hard for me," Jun whispered. His eyes were focused on Nino’s lips, as he wetted his own dry ones. “It would be easier if you weren’t like _this_...”

“Like what?” Nino couldn’t help but ask.

“Like _this_…” Jun tried to explain, failing on it because he was unable to find proper words in this condition of his. “I want to run away from you, but I also want to run _to you_ at the same time because you’re like _this_… It’s annoying… You’re annoying…” Jun pouted and Nino knew he shouldn’t find it cute but he also couldn’t help it. “But I am mostly annoyed with myself… You understand what I mean?”

Nino laughed, despite the proximity they were sharing, Jun’s babbling made Nino relax. It still felt strange, being there, inside Jun’s arms but he was finally calm enough to push Jun away.

“No, but I can understand that you should sleep,” Nino said while pushing himself up, but he couldn’t succeed as Jun’s death grip didn’t let him move away.

“You don’t get it,” Jun whined, pulling Nino back towards himself. “You just don’t get it!”

Nino's breath caught in his throat because of the sudden strength in Jun’s grip but before he could say or do anything, his lips were sealed with a warm, soft and passionate pair of lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY, I AM BACK!!!
> 
> Okay, I'll spare you from the details but the last few months were really hectic and it really didn't help that I had to squeeze two exchanges which were very hard to write when being toppled with how busy I was. But hey, here I am, back to this little monster and Jun and Nino are still torturing me with dancing around each other haha  
BUT GUYS LOOK AT THERE THEY FINALLY KISSED OH, MY DEAR GOD  
Okay, I'm calm, but please, I am the main victim and the first person who wanted them to kiss so badly at this point so here I am. So I am happy, satisfied, but also very very anxious cause it's been months since I last updated this... so... I wonder if there's still someone reading it??? If so, thank you! I'll continue to update it, now that I'm free from some of my responsibilities. It could be still slow, but hey, I am alive and I'm not dumping my fic!  
That being said, see you in the next chapter!! -Yukina  
Ps: I'm on Twitter if you are up for any fic talk, or want to scream at me for being a slow writer, or anything, in general, haha you can find me as @ mikunicchi there too!


	10. Chapter 10

Jun woke up with a throbbing headache that was definitely a reminder of the night before. When he tried to get up from the bed, the room was spinning around him, making him fell back with a groan. It really wasn't a surprise considering how much he had drunk the night before.

He needed water… Inside his mouth felt like he had eaten sand and he also needed some medicine to stop his head from splitting. His stomach was churning and God, he needed so many things at the same time that it was impossible to find out which was more important. His bedroom was still slightly dark thanks to the curtains and even though that helped slightly he still needed water.

He turned to his side, forcing his memory to remember if he had water on his nightstand and was pleasantly surprised to find a bottle of water there. And medicine. Jun frowned as he forced himself to get up once again. There was a post-it on the bottle.

_Take the medicine and sleep some more. I called Taichi-san and he cleared your schedule until noon. -Nino_

Jun read the note a few times before he set it down to drink the water and take the medicine. Then he settled back to the bed, trying to remember what has happened last night. But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t remember what happened after some point. The last thing he remembered was trying to hail a taxi home.

He groaned once again. The fact that he was on his bed meant that he safely managed to get home. He just hoped that he managed to crush on his bed and didn’t inconvenience Nino in any way. He could be rather troublesome when he was drunk, as his friends said so.

He continued to lay there until he heard the doorbell ringing angrily. He wanted to ignore it so much as the painkillers hadn’t kicked in yet. However, after the fifth ring, it started to ring without a stop. He miserably dragged himself out of the bed in order to open the door, only to stand frozen when he realized that his jacket was neatly hung on the hanger. He was pretty sure that he most likely wasn’t in any condition to hang his jacket. He had this strong urge to hit his head somewhere but for now, he had to open his door if he didn’t want anyone to call the security.

Taichi-san smiled brightly when Jun opened the door.

“Good morning!”

Jun squinted his eyes at that. He felt like it was still pretty early to deal with life, especially after such a hangover but apparently, it was time to be an adult. Jun grumbled his greetings as he let Taichi-san in.

“I heard that you had some fun last night,” Taichi-san said as he closed the door behind himself.

“Yeah, Toma dragged me out,” Jun grunted as he walked to the kitchen to get some more water.

“So I’ve heard from Kazunari-kun,” Taichi-san confirmed as he walked into the kitchen behind Jun.

Jun’s hand stopped moving as he turned to look at Taichi-san. “He called you after all?”

“Yes,” Taichi nodded. “Well, truth to be told, he called both of us but I was distracted to take the phone since I had to look after Shizu-chan.”

“How is Shizu-chan by the way?” Jun asked, curious about the wellbeing of the little girl.

“She’s fine. It took us a bit until her fever got down, but she’s fine. Thank you for your understanding yesterday,” he bowed deeply once again.

Jun dismissed Taichi-san with a smile. “I’m glad.”

“Oh, so yes. Kazunari-kun actually called us both since I told him that you would be back early yesterday. He must have been worried when you didn’t return.”

Jun sighed. He usually entrusted his important personal belongings to Taichi-san during shootings since he had always thought that it wasn’t safe to leave them in the green room. And that day wasn’t an exception too. That’s why when he thought about calling Nino last night, he only realized that his phone was still with Taichi-san and thus he gave up.

“Anyway, I brought your phone,” Taichi-san took out Jun’s phone from his bag and handed it to Jun. “I called him back as soon as I can and he explained to me that you were back really late and asked me if I can empty your schedule somehow,” Taichi-san was looking at him as if he wanted to say more and he looked like he was contemplating if he should say it or not.

Jun decided not to ask. He wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to know what Taichi-san was thinking so he just walked towards the fridge. His eyes landed on a plate full of crab cream croquettes. Jun blinked. He was sure that he didn’t buy any. Was it Nino then? That was the only explanation. So did he buy these for him? But they didn’t look like they were store-bought at all. On the contrary, Jun could see that the shape of the croquettes was slightly off.

Taichi-san chose that moment to speak up. “He’s really worried about you, you know.”

Jun bit his lip, not facing Taichi-san, he reached out for the croquettes. Did Nino cook for him yesterday? Did he really cooked and waited for Jun and without knowing Jun let him wait all alone? He wanted to hit his head to the wall.

He inhaled deeply. “So what’s my schedule for today?”

Taichi-san didn’t say anything more about Jun's personal life as he shifted to the work mode quickly. “You have a meeting with the director of the new Saturday drama for the next season,” he started as he shuffled through his agenda. “We were informed that your co-star has been decided so they’d like to have a screen test and a wardrobe fitting after that.”

“Oh, is it decided finally?” Jun asked curiously. Ever since he had agreed to the offer of the drama, “Who is it?”

Taichi-san didn’t answer for a moment. He looked around uncomfortably.

“Taichi-san?” Jun frowned.

Taichi-san inhaled deeply. “Your co-actor will be Ohno Satoshi,” he dropped the bomb. “And it seems that he also agreed to do this.”

Jun’s eyes widened. If there was still something remaining in his body regarding the hangover, that surely was enough to sober him up.

***

It was unnerving.

That was the only way Nino could describe yesterday’s events in all honesty. He had been excited to surprise Jun, nervous because he couldn’t predict Jun’s reaction, disheartened since Jun didn’t come home and disappointed for being an idiot. But in the end, Jun came home. At this point, Nino wasn’t sure if he should be glad to or not.

He tried to focus on his job, tried to keep participating in the conversations happening around him and he really did try his best not to think about the kiss, especially the kiss. His day went with a blur and when he realized that it was time to go back home, he found himself panicking and decided to crash into Aiba’s place, pathetically hoping that a familiar place would help him calm his nerves and ease his emotions that turned into a mess.

Oh, how wrong he was.

For most of the night, he just sat there, on one of the tables in a fairly dark corner of Aiba’s family restaurant nursing a beer that went warm long ago, Jun’s words and the kiss _-oh, the kiss-_ kept looping in Nino’s mind. The memory was still hot in his mind, and Nino could replay every single moment if he closed his eyes. It was immensely, and deeply unnerving.

For what he could say, Jun was one thousand per cent drunk and Nino knew that he should never trust the drunk people. No way he was going to believe that Jun actually kissed him because he _wanted to kiss Nino._ That was impossible, right? There was no way Jun would want to kiss Nino, yet, he just couldn’t let go of the soft and warm feeling of Jun’s lips against his. No matter how many times he told himself that Jun was drunk, he just kept remembering how safe he had felt inside Jun’s arms.

The kiss was short, but it carved into his memory more than anything and Nino found it dangerous because he was already having a hard time not to fall for Jun and this certainly wasn’t helping.

“You’ll burn a hole on the wall if you continue to look at it like that.”

Nino jumped when Aiba sat down next to him with a can of beer on his hand.

“Oh, you finished?” he asked as he took a look around the empty restaurant.

“A while ago,” Aiba nodded. “I even cleaned the kitchen and sent my mom home so it’s okay.”

Nino looked at him confused.

Aiba exhaled. “Oh come on! Something is clearly bothering you and you can’t expect me to leave it like that.”

Nino bit his lip. Should he really tell Aiba about it? But telling Aiba meant that he had to tell him the whole story and Nino really didn’t want to tell him the whole story.

“Nino-chan,” Aiba softly nudged Nino. “You know that I am aware that something isn’t right, right?”

“There’s nothing wrong, Aiba-chan,” Nino tried to brush Aiba off but Aiba continued without letting Nino say anything more.

“We thought that it was very strange for you to marry so suddenly. And I didn’t even know you were dating someone. But it somehow made sense since you couldn’t possibly go around telling people that you were dating Matsumoto Jun so at first, I thought it was that,” Aiba looked guiltily at Nino before he continued. “You know those loan sharks left us alone right after you said you were going to get married and I just think everything was starting to be fine for you. But you weren’t happy in this marriage and when you finally said it was an arranged marriage I just understood,” Aiba looked at him sadly. “Maybe you didn’t realize it yourself but you’re an easy one to read, especially for me, Nino-chan,” he finally said as he smiled sadly.

Nino’s eyes were teary at this point as he looked down onto his lap. Everything that happened in the past year suddenly came down to Nino with all the weight. He didn’t just hurt Aiba and his family with his problems that his own father has caused but he had also lied to his only family. Aiba chuckled at Nino’s sight and leaned forward, ruffling his hair. “Thanks for letting me act like the big brother sometimes,” Aiba commented.

“I’m sorry,” Nino murmured weakly.

“It’s okay, Nino-chan,” Aiba flashed him a smile that warmed Nino’s insides. “I am just happy that you are finally ready to come clean.”

And so Nino did. He told Aiba everything from the start, without hiding anything. When he finished, Aiba scolded him for thinking that the marriage was his only choice.

“If you told me, we could have found another way!”

“We couldn’t,” Nino shook his head. “I know that you don’t have that much money, and so do I. That was the only way.”

“But still…” Aiba pouted.

“It’s okay, Aiba-chan,” Nino shook his head. “It could have been worse,” Nino sighed. “Jun-kun is a good person. He is kind, he tries to take care of me even though he’s the one who needs to have cared most of the time.”

Aiba’s lips curled with a mischievous and yet warm smile. “You like him,” he stated.

Nino blinked with surprise. “Well, yeah, he’s a nice person.”

“No, no! You _like_ him!” Aiba exclaimed. His eyes were sparkling as he talked. "And it seems like you haven't noticed yet but believe me Nino-chan, I know that look on your face when you're in love with someone."

Nino's breath caught in his throat. Was that even possible? And even if it was, that just makes everything worse. He knew he was panicking and he couldn't just calm himself down. He was in love with Jun? Oh, fuck.

"I am not in love with him!” Nino tried to deny, flushed by the thought of it. “I can’t fall in love with him! I don’t even know him, we don’t talk at all! And hypothetically speaking, even if I loved him, there’s no way he would love me back!”

“Wait, calm down!” Aiba cut him. “First of all, calm down. You keep saying that you don’t know him, but is that even true?”

Aiba’s question made sense but it also didn’t make sense at all. He kept thinking that he didn’t actually know about Jun and if he kept sticking to the theory that you can’t possibly know someone completely. But he also couldn’t deny that he knew more than any other person could. Maybe not as much as Jun’s grandfather, but he surely knew a lot.

Taking Nino’s silence as an answer, Aiba smiled softly and nudged Nino playfully. “See?”

Nino felt his face burning and he couldn’t possibly blame the beer since he didn’t even drink it. So he just lowered his head again, looking helplessly into his lap while praying for Aiba to not to notice.

“Aiba-chan…” he murmured weakly.

“It’s okay, Nino-chan,” Aiba reassured him, and despite the storm of emotions he was experiencing, Aiba was still able to reach Nino. “Everything will be okay.”

Nino smiled faintly. He wanted to believe Aiba so much. He wanted to believe that everything will be okay and he needed everything to be okay so much.

***

At some point past midnight, Nino had to leave Aiba’s place and go back to the house where he was living with Jun. He really didn’t want to. Especially when the kiss was still fresh in his memory. He didn’t know how to act around Jun at all. He even considered to beg Aiba to stay over the night but he knew that it was stupid and he surely would hate to act like a stupid teenager who can’t face his crush. Those kind of dramas were what Nino hated the most, after all. But this still didn’t change the fact that he was nervous to face Jun, so he just prayed that Jun will be sleeping, or better, he won’t be at home at all.

That’s why, Nino opened the door as silently as he could, hoping that he would be able to slip into his room and won’t come out again.

But of course, his luck decided to bail on him as always when he realized that lights were on in the living room. Sighing, Nino walked into the living room only to find Jun on the couch, asleep. He blinked, confused as he walked towards Jun as silently as he can. He was sprawled on his back, and there was a small book on his chest. One leg was dangling from the sofa and he was frowning in his sleep again, it was probably a habit of Jun that Nino came to know and find somewhat endearing.

He found himself kneeling next to the sofa, close to Jun’s face as he watched his sleeping face. His hair was messy, bangs falling onto his eyes as unruly curls. They got longer over time. He gulped. He was just so effortlessly beautiful and Nino’s heart was beating so hard inside his ribcage making it hard to breathe. The shadow of his long eyelashes was falling onto his high cheekbones, the pout that was accompanying to his frown didn’t make him look less beautiful. This close, Nino could almost count the beauty marks adorning Jun’s face.

_I am in love with him?_ The question echoed in his mind and strangely, it didn’t leave a bitter after taste this time, however, it still scared the hell out of him. _I’m doomed,_ Nino thought mournfully.

He took a shaky deep breathe. I should wake him up, he thought sourly. He didn’t want to face Jun at all, but he also didn’t want him to sleep on the couch for nothing.

He raised on his feet again, shaking Jun’s shoulder softly. “Jun-kun. Jun-kun, you should sleep on your bed,” he called out for him softly.

Jun grumbled as he turned around, burying his face to the cushion but Nino wasn’t going to give up.

After two long minutes of shaking Jun, he finally opened his eyes, blearily looking at Nino. “Kazu..?”

“Hm?”

“You’re back?”

“I’m back.”

Then Jun got up, grunting because of the uncomfortable position he had been sleeping. He put the book away and faced Nino. “Welcome back,” he said, with a smile so soft that it warmed Nino’s inside so gently.

Nino gulped. God, he was so doomed.

“Why did you sleep here? You should go to your bed,” Nino scolded him instead of saying anything.

Jun pouted. He was still dishevelled from sleep, and yet he still looked beautiful. “I was waiting for you.”

Nino froze. _Don’t tell me…_ “Why?”

Jun looked away shyly, he scratched behind his neck. “Because you always wait for me. I don’t want you to come back to an empty home if I can help it.”

Nino’s heart skipped a bit. “Oh…”

Jun took a deep breath. “I know I haven’t been a good companion, especially with my schedule but yeah…” he trailed off sheepishly. “I also wanted to apologize and thank you.”

Nino didn’t say anything as Jun looked up, right into Nino’s eyes. Those strong brown eyes which Nino had thought as intimating was now looking at him with such a warm glow and Nino couldn’t look away even if he wanted to.

“I am sorry for not coming back,” Jun started and Nino could hear the sincerity on his voice. “I don’t remember if I did something weird, please forgive me if I did. And I am sorry for coming home completely drunk, I’ll be more careful so it won’t happen again,” Jun promised as he bowed his head in apology.

Nino blinked for a few times. “So you don’t remember what happened?” he asked dumbly.

Jun looked at Nino in confusion. “No, the last thing I remember was trying to hail a taxi from the bar and that’s all… Did something happen?” he questioned.

Nino didn’t answer as his face flushed with embarrassment. He felt like such an idiot. “No! not at all!” Nino hurriedly dismissed the topic. There was no way he could ask Jun if he remembered kissing Nino or why he didn’t remember kissing Nino. “I should go to sleep! Yes! We should sleep! Good night!” he added hastily walking back to his own bedroom.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ He was reprimanding himself as he grabbed the doorknob but was stopped when Jun caught his wrist. Nino’s heart skipped another beat when he felt Jun’s long fingers around his wrist. His grip was warm, gentle yet strong. When he turned around to look at Jun, Nino just hoped that his face didn’t look as red as he was feeling.

Looking at Jun was a mistake, and Nino only realized his mistake when he looked at the smiling face of Jun who was standing way too close to Nino for his own good. Nino could almost feel the warmth radiating from Jun’s body.

“And Kazu… Thank you for the croquettes,” Jun smiled one last time before he let Nino’s wrist go. “They were delicious.”

Nino gasped. Well, he had _almost_ forgotten that. He bit his lower lip before smiling back to Jun. “I’m glad you liked it.”

Jun nodded and stepped back as he realized how close they were standing. “I should let you sleep now,” Jun smiled one last time before turning away and disappearing into his own room.

Nino returned his own room when the door of Jun’s room closed with a soft click. He plopped down onto his bed, while the silence of the house enveloped him. Countless thoughts were circling around his mind, yet only one of those thoughts were agonizingly loud.

_You had to fall in love with Matsumoto Jun out of all people… Great, just great._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm about to scream at their faces to just get on with it really *facepalm*  
But I think I can finally move forward with the story omg   
It took me too long and I am sorry for everyone who's reading this but yeah these two idiots just had to be like *this* OTL   
Hope I'll update it soon again <3  
I love you all and thank you for reading this huge mess <3


	11. Chapter 11

Jun was unusually nervous when he had walked into the fancy television building in Roppongi. The meeting was scheduled to be held in one of the studios in there. Jun knew the building by heart, as he had been there numerous times before. He had previously worked with the director as well as most of the staff.

Those weren’t the reason why he was nervous. The reason for his nervousness laid on something completely different.

The staff ushered him into the make room the moment he set his foot into one of the small studios in the building that was set for the screen test. They initially wanted to take that test shot a week ago but because of the technical problems, which was followed by the problem of Jun and Ohno’s schedule, it was happening a week after, thus, the whole production was running late. That’s why they had to do the poster shooting on the same day too. They did his makeup, had him change to the costumes of his character who was a salaryman.

Even before the approvement of same-sex marriages, BL dramas and movies have been popular in Japan, yet Jun never landed a role in one of them until now. He had been suspecting that it was because of the image he had in the public eye. But when he got married to a _man_ that image seemed to be broken now.

So when he received the offer for a BL drama Jun was genuinely surprised. It was a popular manga series of the daily life of a salaryman, Eiji and his boyfriend Kenta in Hokkaido. When Jun agreed to portray this role, he didn’t really think of anything. He never ran away from roles until now and this wasn’t an exception too. He had taken it to the heart and read all of the series. He even liked the series and even his own character. It was an interesting character to portray.

The drama was going to be a tough one, to begin with. Hokkaido was the stage and Jun had been informed that he would have to travel to Hokkaido a lot or stay there for a while in the worst case. Jun was fine with travelling, and even staying in Hokkaido for a good portion of the shooting. That wasn’t a problem at all.

The problem here was Ohno Satoshi, who was going to be playing the role of his _boyfriend_ Kenta.

Jun got out of the make room, heading back to the studio with those thoughts in his head. He hated how fast his eyes found Ohno despite the crowd. He was talking to the director, and Jun could see that they were very immersed in the conversation. Slight nods that Ohno gave to the director told Jun that the

He hadn’t changed at all, Jun couldn’t help but think. Even after all those years, he hadn’t changed a bit. Jun tried to keep his cool as he got closer to Ohno and the director.

It was Ohno who noticed him first. Their eyes met for a brief second and Ohno smiled softly. Even that smile was still as Jun remembered.

“Matsujun,” Ohno greeted him with his soft voice.

“Ohno-san,” Jun nodded calmly. After all those years of acting, he didn’t need to worry about his expression.

The director looked between them for a second with worry ceased expression. He must be wondering whether Jun and Ohno would be able to work together or not. He wasn’t surprised though.

Despite being affiliated to the same agency, Ohno and Jun rarely got together. This wasn’t just a matter of their schedule. No, that wasn’t it. Jun was aware that fans had their own speculation regarding not crossing each other. It wasn’t that they hated each other. It was simply because Ohno Satoshi has been the only person Jun loved with all his heart and the same person who broke his heart into a billion pieces. Jun was sure Ohno wasn’t even aware of what was going on, but he was just too broken to get closer to him after that. Only a few people, which Jun trusted wholly knew about his past with Ohno and they managed to arrange a schedule for Jun where he didn’t need to meet Ohno unless necessary.

It had been easier than he thought. Ohno was an idol, while Jun focused on acting since his earlier days. Their first meeting was when Jun was still young and still new in the agency. He was assigned to be a back dancer for Ohno’s first concert.

It was hard not to fall for Ohno. He was a man of many talents. He had a voice that charmed everyone, his dance skills left everyone speechless and as if that wasn’t enough he was talented with art to the point of holding his own art exhibition. He was also naturally talented at acting, on a level which Jun knew he would never be able to reach. That being said, it wasn’t a mystery that Ohno was the most loved talent in the agency.

Ohno Satoshi was already a known name in the industry when Jun got into the agency. For years, Jun had admired Ohno, envied Ohno, and desired him. He had no idea when he got over him, that is, if he ever managed to get over him.

He was only half-listening the director's instructions as they proceed to the poster shooting. They should be comfortable around each other, that’s what the scenario requires and Jun knows it, but he just can’t move when the director tells them to _get closer_.

Ohno reacted before Jun could as he moved swiftly, casually wrapping his arm around Jun’s waist and he smiles at him. He smiles at Jun so innocently and so warmly that it makes Jun’s heart tingle.

Jun could hear the sound of shutters changing and capturing their expression but he could only focus on Ohno, whose eyes shined brightly under the spotlights. They were so close, maybe closer than necessary but Jun was sure that no one actually cared. Ohno’s scent filled his senses as they posed for the camera. However, despite their close proximity and despite Jun’s erstwhile feelings for Ohno, his touch didn’t feel _right_.

Jun felt like the shooting continued for an eternity. He sighed with relief when the director instructed for them to stop for a moment and catch their breath before they took a small scene for the test.

None of them talked. Ohno was already a silent person in nature and Jun certainly didn't have the energy to strike up a conversation with his old crush.

The director placed them as to how he wants them to be. The scene was only a page long, where Eiji and Kenta exchanged a few dialogues. The scene belonged to the part where Eiji and Kenta got together. And it made Jun a little nervous to think that he was going to recite love words to someone whom he loved once.

They started with the instruction of the director. Ohno standing in front of him, close enough to touch.

“My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away.” Jun recited Eiji's lines. However, to his surprise, he didn’t feel affected at all.

"Why?" Ohno replied in character, looking convincingly confused.

Eiji took a step closer to Kenta before he started talking again. "Because you belong to someone else," Eiji said, caressing Kenta's cheek ever so lightly.

"I don't belong to anyone else than myself," Kenta protested, stepping closer to Eiji and bringing him down to a kiss to prove him that he wasn't in love with anyone else than Eiji.

Director's voice cut the scene, breaking the magic of the moment just before Jun actually ended up kissing Ohno. His breath hitched when he realized what was happening. Jun stepped away from Ohno, smiling ever so professionally and thanked him. Ohno looked thoughtful for some reason which Jun couldn't dwell at the moment. However, when the director comes in, his pleasure showing through his face the expression on Ohno’s face disappeared as if nothing happened.

Director praised them for having _the chemistry_. He didn’t forget praising himself for deciding on such a good cast. After a few more adjustments, the director told them that they could go back for the day.

Jun checked his wristwatch on his way back to the corner where Taichi-san was waiting for him with his personal belongings. He smiled when he realized that they were finished two hours earlier than he had expected.

“Matsujun.”

Jun stopped his tracks when he heard Ohno calling out his name. He turned around, only to find Ohno a few steps away.

“Ohno-san,” Jun blinked as he stopped. “Did something happen?”

“Not really,” Ohno replied softly. For someone who was bathing in the fame, Ohno Satoshi had such a calming aura around him. “I just wanted to say that I’m excited to be able to work with you again.”

One word. _Again._ Jun gulped. “Same here, Ohno-san.”

Ohno looked somewhat unpleased. “We will be together for a long time, you should drop the formalities,” he said. “You used to call me Leader.”

That caught Jun unguarded, he laughed nervously. “You remember that…”

Ohno smiled. “I have a good memory,” he said as he held out his hand. “Let’s work hard and make this a good production.”

Jun squeezed that hand. Ohno’s hand was warm, and his grip was strong, reassuring and steadying. It was probably what Jun needed at that moment. And for a moment, he dared to think that everything was going to be okay.

***

It was still early when Taichi-san dropped Jun off to his house.

“We will be leaving at three pm tomorrow,” Taichi-san checked their schedule once again before Jun stepped out of the car. “I’ll pick you up at one pm tomorrow.”

Jun nodded. “Thank you very much for your hard work always, Taichi-san,” before he got off the car. He watched Taichi-san’s car disappear in a span of seconds. Jun sighed, taking a look at his wristwatch again, he saw that it was only five in the evening. He knew that Nino was at work. It was a weekday, and it was still working hours for Nino.

Jun bit his lower lip. He just didn’t want to go back to the silence of his own house. He was well aware that he was going to start overthinking about everything if he got upstairs now. There was no denying that he was worried about the drama, about Ohno and about the fact that he had to spend a lot of time with the said person.

So, with a very spontaneous decision, Jun got into his own car, not knowing what exactly he was going to do, as he started to drive in the streets aimlessly. He could go to visit his grandfather, but his grandfather would surely ask him about Nino. When he stopped in red light, his hand hovered over his phone discussing whether or not to call Nino and see if he wanted to come to visit his grandfather. But then he hesitated. After what happened a week ago, Jun totally owed Nino a dinner. And this would probably be his only chance before he left for Hokkaido. Determined to make it up to Nino, he dialled his number before he could hesitate.

Nino answered on the third ring. _“Yes?”_

Jun took a deep breath. Somehow, hearing Nino’s voice made everything better. “Hey.”

_“Something happened?”_ Jun could hear Nino’s nervousness through the phone.

“Ah, no,” Jun reassured him quickly. “I was just going to ask you if you are free tonight?” When Nino didn’t reply immediately Jun added. “I wanted to apologize to you, you know, for the last week…”

_“You don’t have to,”_ Nino answered.

“But I want to,” Jun insisted. “Just let me buy you dinner.”

Nino didn’t answer for a few moments while Jun waited anxiously.

_“Do you really want to make it up to me?”_ Nino asked with a soft voice.

“I do,” Jun said truthfully. “I really do.”

_“Alright.”_

“Alright?”

_“But I’ll choose the place,”_ Nino said determinedly.

Jun couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s okay.”

_“And you will be the one to pay.” _ He warned Jun.

Jun’s smile widened. “That’s okay too.”

_“Alright then. Should I send the address to you?” _

“Or rather, we can go together,” Jun suggested. “I have my car, and I can pick you up.”

_“Wouldn’t that be a problem?”_ Nino asked hesitantly over the phone. _“You know, for you to meet up with me…”_

Jun giggled. “I don’t think anyone would have anything against me meeting up with my _husband._”

_“Oh…” _

“I will pick you up in half an hour then,” Jun said finally.

***

Jun couldn’t help but tense up when they pulled over in front of a familiar Chinese restaurant. What was Nino planning to do with bringing Jun here? To show off his relationship with Aiba? Jun tried his best not to curse. Today certainly wasn’t his day.

“Nino-chan!!”

Jun came to his senses with the shrill voice of Aiba’s voice and when he looked up, he immediately decided he didn’t like what he was seeing. Aiba was smiling brightly to Nino and the latter looked at him so fondly that it made Jun’s heart tingle with pain.

“Mom made hamburger for you!” Aiba said animatedly. “You’re such a lucky brat, to get a hamburger on a Chinese restaurant!”

“I see someone is jealous,” Nino smirked evilly before he cleared his throat. “Aiba-shi, I brought someone with me.”

Following his gaze, Aiba finally realized Jun. His eyes widened with surprise before he stepped closer to Jun, bringing him down to a hug. Jun, who wasn’t used to such gestures, looked at Nino, asking for help. Nino just shrugged, his amusement apparent from the sly grin on his face.

Aiba led them to Nino’s favourite dark corner which provided them with a bit of privacy. He left them alone after taking Jun’s order.

“Does he always like that?” Jun asked when they settled on their table.

Nino cackled at Jun’s question. “That’s Aiba Masaki for you,” he said and then added. “I met him when I was thirteen. We’re stuck together since then and he never changed.”

“That’s a very long time.”

“Sometimes he acts like an over-excited kid but he means no harm, I assure you,” Nino chuckled.

“He must mean a lot to you,” Jun murmured weakly.

Nino hummed, not denying what Jun said. Silence fell between them as Jun’s eyes focused on Nino. He was watching Aiba as the latter chatted with the other customers merrily. The smile on Nino’s face was so soft that it hurt Jun to look at it. _My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away,_ the Eiji’s lines echoed in his mind as he looked at Nino. _Because you belong to someone else._

“Here are your orders!” A soft and warm voice interrupted the silence between them and Jun looked up to see Aiba’s mother. He remembered her from the wedding reception.

“You should have said you were bringing your husband Kazu-kun!” Aiba’s mother scolded Nino with a warmth that was special to mothers before he turned to Jun, smiling brightly. It was obvious from who Aiba got his radiant smile. “It’s so nice to see you here, Matsumoto-kun.”

“It’s nice to see you again, Aiba-san,” Jun bowed to her. “And I’m one to blame for not letting you know earlier. I finished earlier than I had expected and I wanted to take Kazu out for dinner.”

Aiba’s mother beamed. “It’s so nice to see you two getting along so well!” She chirped. “You two suit each other!”

Jun tried not to feel heartbroken at that. Did they really? When he turned to look at Nino, he saw the tips of his ears getting redder.

“Ah, you are so cute! Getting shy!” Aiba’s mother giggled.

“Auntie, stop it,” Nino mumbled embarrassed.

Aiba’s mother let out a hearty laugh seeing how red Nino was becoming. “I am sure your mother would love Matsumoto-kun too,” she commented to Nino’s surprise and then turned back to Jun. “You should come again when you have time Matsumoto-kun, I will show you the albums of how Kazu looked like when he was small. He is like a son to me.”

“I’d love that Aiba-san,” Jun smiled. Aiba’s mother nodded and went back to the kitchen.

Nino exhaled loudly. “I can’t believe both of them really,” he grumbled.

“They like you,” Jun told him with a soft smile. It made his heart ache, but he was truly happy that Nino was loved by the people he cared. He was a good person and deserved to be loved after all.

“My mom was friends with Aiba’s mother too,” Nino told him. “They used to joke about how Aiba and I were like brothers despite not being blood-related,” Nino laughed. “Well, Aiba isn’t an ideal older brother since he is an air-headed fellow most of the time but you can’t choose your siblings,” he shrugged.

Jun gaped at him, suddenly feeling like a thunderstruck. _Was he serious?_ Jun questioned while looking at Nino with wide eyes but Nino was looking at another table. If he was serious, then Jun seriously had no idea about what to do with himself. He had been thinking that Nino was together with Aiba this whole time, that Nino already had someone he had cherished. That Jun had been married to someone who had been in love with someone else. But thinking about it now, it could have been all Jun’s misunderstanding and he was a huge idiot. They could have made this marriage work from the start, but because of Jun’s insecurities, he had pushed Nino away. _I am such an idiot,_ Jun thought miserably.

“Ah. He’s here again,” Nino said suddenly, breaking Jun’s inner thoughts. Nino pointed a table where Aiba was talking to a customer in one of the tables as he leaned onto the table, and beckoned Jun to lean closer. Jun followed the suit as he leaned closer. “That guy has been coming here for a while and they have been flirting but both of them notices nothing.” Jun looked at Aiba’s direction once again when Nino sighed. “You know it really hurts when your best friend hides his crush from you,” Nino complained. “He isn’t even telling me who his mysterious crush is and at this point, I’m planning to just to go ask him.”

Jun frowned as he looked closer at the person whom Nino was referring. The person who had very distinct sloping shoulders was wearing a bucket hat, black-rimmed glasses and camouflage pants, and Jun was pretty sure that that style could belong to only one person.

"I think I know who he is," Jun said as he stood up from the table, ignoring the confused look Nino gave him and walked towards the table when Aiba left for the orders.

“Sho-san?”

Sakurai Sho looked up, his big round eyes met Jun immediately. Sho's mouth formed a surprised O when he saw Jun.

"Oh!! Matsujun!!" he exclaimed before he could stop himself. He closed a hand around his mouth as he realized where they were and how they shouldn't create a fuss right now. “Why are you here?” Sho asked with a lower voice.

“Why? I’m here with Kazu, why are _you_ here?” Jun asked with narrowed eyes.

“I- uh-” Sho stuttered, his face red from being caught to Jun. “I came to eat gyoza?”

“Gyoza, huh?”

“Gyoza, yes,” Sho shook his head up and down rapidly.

Jun was having a hard time not to laugh at his senior who looked like a kid caught red-handed. “Alright then, I’ll leave you be,” Jun said, shaking his head from side to side while trying to hold his laugher back.

When he returned to the table he was sharing with Nino, he just laughed. Nino looked at him confusedly.

“It’s Sho-san,” Jun explained with a grin.

Nino frowned for a moment since the name didn’t ring the bell, but he was fast to catch up. His eyes widened. “Sakurai Sho?!”

Jun nodded. Nino looked so terrorized that it made him laugh more. “His fashion sense might be a bit questionable, but yeah it’s him.”

“In such a small Chinese restaurant?! Well, what they serve _is_ delicious but still…”

Jun shrugged. “It is delicious, and Sho-san doesn’t mind anything as long as it’s delicious.”

Nino narrowed his eyes. “Or he found something better than Chinese cuisine here,” he said suggestively.

They looked at each other seriously for a second before laughing out loud. Being there, laughing with Nino felt so right. After months of trying not to fall for Nino, it felt so good to be able to laugh with him, so carefreely. When he stopped trying to resist the pull of Nino, Jun felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Everything was going to be okay, Jun thought. It was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaho~!  
It took me long to update again... I am sorry OTL this fic refuses to cooperate with me... but it's getting down back to the line slowly so I believe I will get there, really lol  
Well... what do you think? I finally got to clear some misunderstandings on Jun's end and yey for Ohno and Sho's appearance! I seriously wasn't expecting for them to appear after almost 27k words (WOW almost 27K omg) I also finally got to the point where I can finally update the relationships tags!!  
I hope you all like it! <3  
-Yukina


	12. Chapter 12

It was nearing midnight when Nino and Jun left Aiba’s restaurant. It was a fun night, despite how last-minute it was. They even stayed back after midnight and Nino, who had to drink for Jun’s place too since he was driving was a tiny bit tipsy.

In the car, Jun kept smiling in a way that Nino had never witnessed until now. He couldn’t help watching him. He looked relaxed, something hasn’t happened since the time they had dinner with Jun’s grandfather. It made Nino smile too.

Feeling Nino’s gaze over him, Jun turned to look at Nino when they stopped for the red light.

“Is there something on my face?” he looked confused and it only made Nino’s smile widen.

“I just like it,” Nino commented, letting himself be bold for a moment. The beers that Aiba had made him drink was surely catching up with him, and even though he wasn’t _drunk,_ he could always blame it on the alcohol he had in. “I just like it when you smile like that.”

Nino wasn’t sure if it was Jun who’s blushing, or if it was the red light shining on his cheeks.

“I…” Jun started, trying to say something in return but apparently gave up when the traffic lights turned into green.

The remaining of the drive passed mostly in silence, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. If Nino’s gaze was making Jun uncomfortable, he didn’t say anything to make Nino look somewhere else. So Nino kept watching him, openly. The city lights that they were passing by were illuminating Jun’s profile from time to time, giving Nino the chance to see more. There was something very comforting at that moment, making Nino feel at ease and safe. His eyelids were getting heavier by each passing second and yet he refused to sleep. A part of him was afraid that if he closed his eyes, the magic of the moment would be broken and whatever he had with Jun at that one specific moment would be dissolved like it never happened.

He was rubbing his one eye when Jun spoke softly.

“Sleep a bit,” he said stealing a quick glance to Nino. “I will wake you up when we get home.”

“I don’t want to,” Nino replied stubbornly, but his voice was already heavy with sleep.

Jun chuckled and they stopped in another red light. Jun moved in his seat and took off his stylish black jumper. Nino was curiously watching him, thinking that the car wasn’t even hot when Jun swiftly turned towards Nino, putting his jacket over him. Nino froze, which only gave Jun the chance to tuck Nino more with his jumper.

“Just sleep,” Jun said finality in his voice. “You look like you need it.”

Nino couldn’t say anything for a few long seconds. Jun was so close, probably closer than they had ever been in their whole marriage, only a few centimetres away… Well, at least not when they both were conscious. Nino’s heart was beating a mile in a second and he was almost sure that Jun could hear it. Seconds passed, Nino unable to come up with anything when Jun moved back in his seat, at the same time with the traffic lights turning into green light.

_He’s so unfair,_ Nino thought as he buried his nose into Jun’s jacket, closing his eyes to let the reality of the moment sink in. Jun was there, only a few meters away from him. The jumper Jun placed on him smelled like Jun, and was warm, enveloping Nino so tenderly that it almost hurt. A part of him wondered how it would be to sleep inside Jun’s arms, feeling his warmth closer to his own skin. He took a deep breath, how long had it been since he had felt this safe. With the help of the warmth provided by Jun and the swaying car, he fell asleep.

***

Jun looked at Nino when he parked the car in the underground garage of the apartment complex they were living. He was sleeping peacefully, snuggled against his jumper, his bangs falling onto his closed eyelids and his sleepy breath ringing so softly in the silent car. It made Jun smile. This wasn’t the first time he was looking at Nino when he was sleeping, but this was certainly the first time Jun was actually _watching_ him sleep.

Jun couldn’t help the urge inside him as he reached out and pushed Nino’s bangs away from his eyes softly. He sighed while he watched his husband, thinking the night they spent in the Aiba’s family restaurant.

Even before their marriage, Jun thought he had no chance of having an actual married life because from the moment Jun saw Nino with Aiba, he had believed, _no,_ he was _sure_ that they were together. But looking at them now, he saw how wrong he was.

It wasn’t that Nino didn’t love him. It was simply that Jun didn’t let Nino love him.

The knowledge of that hurt more than anything. He had been trying to protect himself, and he had hurt Nino while trying to do so. And knowing that he hurt Nino, Jun just wanted to come clean and apologize to him. It was embarrassing, and he should probably think a better way to confess to his husband and he most certainly wanted to do it when his feelings were calmer. How does one tell their husband that they don’t hate him but actually like him?

And on the top of it, he had to leave for Hokkaido tomorrow. Jun almost facepalmed.

Deciding that there was no way for him to find a way right there and then, Jun got out of the car, walking to Nino’s side. He wanted Nino to sleep on a proper bed after all. He opened the door, kneeling closer to Nino as he shook him softly.

“Kazu, Kazu! We’re home,” he said as soft as he can while he shook Nino’s shoulder.

Nino stirred the moment Jun shook him. He opened his eyes slowly and grunted, which showed his discomfort. He cleared his throat before murmuring something lowly. Jun chuckled, he was definitely better than Jun regarding waking up. When he stretched Jun’s jumper slid down and their hands touched when both Jun and Nino dived down to catch it.

“Ah… Sorry,” Nino pulled his hand back immediately, his voice was still laced with sleep but he got out of the car. “I can’t believe I actually fell asleep,” Nino murmured, slightly embarrassed.

That made Jun chuckle. “Well, you seemed tired,” he said with a smile, taking his jumper and wearing it.

“Not as much as you,” Nino commented while he got out of the car.

“I’m not that tired,” Jun shrugged as he locked the car and started walking towards the elevator. “At least not today.”

“You’re right, rather than tired, you seem like something was bothering you,” Nino told when they were both standing in front of the elevator.

Jun weighed his options if he should let Nino know about his worries or not. As he thought, the silence prolonged.

“It’s okay,” Nino broke the silence, his voice sounded neutral. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want.”

Jun exhaled. It’s not that he didn’t trust Nino but he just didn’t know where to start, how to start. He couldn’t just go with ‘hey, I thought you were in a relationship with Aiba-san and would never love me but now I know you two aren’t like that and I have no idea how to tell you that I actually like you very much’, could he? So he just opted to talk about the next thing that was bothering him.

“I was planning to talk about it when we get home but…” He inhaled, looking at Nino in the eye. “I got a drama. It will be on the next season Saturday ten pm slot.”

Nino blinked and then flashed him a smiled. “Well, I don’t really watch drama but that’s a popular drama slot! So congratulations!”

Jun smiled. “Thank you.”

“So what’s bothering you?” Nino questioned. “Are you perhaps having a hard time remembering your lines? If so I can help you practice,” he added jokingly.

That made Jun laugh. “That’s not it,” he said between his laughter.

“Then what is it? I will do what I can do to help you,” Nino said truthfully, looking straight into Jun’s eyes and it made Jun’s heart ache. He knew that there were people who were willing to help him had he asked for help. His friends, his grandfather, Taichi-san… It’s not that he was all alone, but he had never let himself lean on someone.

“I know you don’t exactly like asking for help, Jun-kun,” Nino continued before Jun could say anything. “And I know you don’t love me. But we are married, so you can lean on me,” Nino added so softly and Jun knew it took Nino a lot to say those words. As far as he observed, Nino wasn’t exactly the kind of person who would ask for help, just like Jun. They were very much alike regarding that, Jun thought. And he knew that Nino, who never wanted to ask for help would love to help if someone needed, just like Jun. They had a lot more than they had thought in common. It wasn’t just anything, Jun knew. Even if they were to never love each other, there would be a mutual understanding and Jun appreciated that very much since the beginning of their relationship.

Jun gulped down the emotions. “Thank you.”

Nino nodded as his lips curved into a smile. That moment, the elevator stopped and they walked to their own room. It felt nice to come back to the home where Nino was waiting but it also felt nice to come back with him.

Once they were inside, Nino immediately started heading back to his own room when Jun stopped him.

“I… I need to tell you something,” Jun started when Nino looked at him once again. “The drama I talked about… The story takes place in Hokkaido and the producer is really stuck to the idea that we shoot the drama in Hokkaido…” he trailed off and sighed. “So for that reason, I have to go to Hokkaido for a while.”

“Oh…” Nino started as he looked around. “Is that so? Sounds troublesome,” he commented. “When do you have to leave?”

Jun looked Nino in the eye. “Tomorrow.”

Nino’s eyes widened for a moment and Jun hated himself.

“I know it's very sudden and I am sorry that I couldn’t talk to you earlier…” And now he was feeling awful. He should have talked about this with Nino earlier. He should have told him that he would need to move back and forth between Hokkaido and Tokyo, and stay there for the time being. For his defence, he had been thinking that Nino wouldn’t care if he was there or not, but he was wrong. Cause Nino cared, very deeply and that was something Jun didn’t know how to deal with.

Nino hummed thoughtfully. “It’s okay,” he said calmly, to Jun’s surprise. “You were busy.”

“I know that’s not an excuse,” Jun sighed, tossing his hair frustratedly. “I might have to stay there for a while depending on the schedule since the whole production is running late but I’ll try to come back in every chance,” he added. He was going to come back. At first, he really wouldn’t mind staying in Hokkaido more than he has to but now, he just wanted to come back to his own house, more than anything.

When Jun finished talking he looked at Nino, who was looking back at him with an unreadable expression. “You don’t have to,” Nino said, then smiled slightly. “You will be tired and you shouldn’t try to come back for nothing.”

It’s not for nothing, I want to come back for you, Jun wanted to scream at his face but couldn’t.

Nino hummed, convinced by his own words. “Just bring me back a souvenir from Hokkaido,” he grinned.

“Kazu, I…” need to tell you something. Jun couldn’t complete his sentence.

“Just… take care of yourself, okay?” Nino asked softly. “I’ll also do my best here.”

Jun bit his lower lip but nodded in the end. Having nothing to say more, Nino turned his back to head back to his room.

“Kazu?” Jun stopped him just before Nino disappeared into his room.

Nino stopped, turning around to look at him.

“Would it be okay if I call you from time to time?” Jun asked hesitantly. “And maybe text?”

That had Nino laughing out loud. “Why, of course, Jun-pon,” he flashed a gummy smile that warmed Jun’s heart. “Nobu-san told me that you get homesick easily. So, count on me!”

Even though he had some questions about Nino calling him different nicknames every time, he let it go for the sake of hat made Jun smile too. “Thank you, Kazu.”

Nino smiled and nodded. “Good night, Jun-kun.”

“Good night,” he replied back and watched as the door of Nino’s room closed with a soft click.

Jun looked at the closed door, with mixed feelings for a moment. He knew that it won’t be easy but now, the future looked hopeful. It wasn’t perfect, but it could work out. It was going to work out, he was going to make sure that it would work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!! My posting schedule is a mess but updating it fast is better than being late, I guess? haha  
I know everyone is waiting for some fluff (believe me, I do too) and thus, I did smash some fluff into this chapter, which I hope is to liking of everyone (I really hope it is!) and from now on.  
I am doing my best to write faster and more, and I do read one chapter like 5 times before posting it but if there are any mistakes, it's all on me, haha Please forgive them! m(_ _)m After finishing the story, I might make minor edits (like fixing things I missed at first) but nothing big really haha  
Also, I'm on Twitter (@mikunicchi) if you want to talk and such! My DM is always open <3  
Hope you all will like this chapter too! I would be very happy in case you decide to let me know in the comments >////<  
Also, I should really stop leaving such long notes under the chapter lol Sorry about that!
> 
> -Yukina


	13. Chapter 13

After three weeks and numerous messages exchanged between them, Nino was finally starting to admit that he was missing Jun. Living with someone for months apparently broke Nino’s toughness regarding being alone. He got so used to the presence of him that it was getting harder and harder to go home where he was all alone and everyone had noticed his behaviour at this point.

He spent most of his evenings at Aiba’s restaurant. He had always been frequent of their restaurant, but until that moment, he wasn’t actually going there every night. Aiba’s mother offered him to stay at their place, yet, Nino thought that was going overboard. He also visited Jun’s grandfather, since if there was anyone who would understand the level of loneliness he was feeling due to Jun’s absence, that would be Nobuyuki himself.

The first time he knocked Nobuyuki’s door was totally unannounced but after he got over the initial surprise, Nobuyuki welcomed him happily and ever since he kept welcoming him with open arms.

There were times Nino would just drop by for dinner, and Nobuyuki would make him eat way too much, claiming that Nino was too skinny. Nino always smiled at that fondly, he could clearly see who Jun actually took after.

As the days turned into weeks, Nino and Nobuyuki started to talk more about Jun which only made Nino realize how much he was actually missing him. From the begin with, Nino surely didn’t spend a lot of time with Jun. But apparently, those small moments where he welcomed Jun every night, had become more precious than he had thought. It was one of those nights where Nino was thinking about Jun when Nobuyuki throw a crazy idea to his way.

“Maybe I should call him back,” Nobuyuki suggested jokingly. “Maybe I should fake some illness, what do you think Kazunari-kun?”

Nino rolled his eyes. “That kind of joke is the worst, even for you,” he said making Nobuyuki laugh out heartily. “Don’t mess with him, please.”

"Then you should call him back home," Nobuyuki suggested instead and added while looking at him in the eye. “I am sure he would come if you asked.”

Nino averted his gaze and laughed bitterly. “I can’t possibly do that. And I don’t think he would come.” He looked away. There was no way for Jun to come back for Nino. He was so sure of that. He didn't even bother telling him that he was leaving after all.

There was a silence for a few seconds before Nobuyuki grunted and got up from the sofa. “But I am sure of it," he stated, his certainty could be heard clearly from his tone. "My son is very fond of you, Kazunari-kun.”

It made Nino look at him again. Nobuyuki’s back was facing him, giving Nino the leeway to think for a few more seconds. Was he supposed to talk about this to Nobuyuki? He really wasn’t sure of it. How does one tell that they fell in love with their husband while that said husband most probably wanted nothing to have with him in the first place, despite the kindness he had been showing to Nino. Nino knew it. He shouldn’t be mistaking the kindness Jun showed to him yet, he was fool enough to fall for him. While Nino was debating himself, Nobuyuki placed a warm cup of green tea in front of him.

“Then why don’t you go to visit him?” Nobuyuki asked him again when he finally took his place on the sofa again.

Nino rubbed the back of his neck. “I can’t do that too.”

Nobuyuki raised an eyebrow questioningly. “And why is that?”

Taking a deep breath, Nino decided to explain. Well, at least, try to explain. “You know better than anyone that our marriage was an arranged one. He only agreed to marry me because he probably wants to make you happy. This marriage messed up with his life more than it did to mine. Mine was already messed up you see. I had been expecting the worst but… he has been very kind to me this whole time. And I can’t ask for more.”

Nobuyuki laughed out loud at that. “Did he say that? That this marriage messed his life?”

“That’s…” That got Nino thinking. He did say that he wasn’t planning to play house game with Nino… At that time, Nino thought he messed up Jun’s life. That he had someone else and Nino’s presence just messed everything. But was that the case? Or was it just how Nino wanted to believe? _He doesn’t owe you anything, he doesn’t need you in his life,_ was what the negative side of his brain saying.

“I have seen how he looks at you, Kazunari-kun, and I believe that I would know when my son is in love.” Nobuyuki cut the train of his thoughts gently, dismissing the dark thoughts that were clouding his mind. Nino blushed at Nobuyuki’s words but before he could utter anything else, Nobuyuki continued. “I am happy, Kazunari-kun. That boy doesn’t show how lonely he feels, and I worry about him always. I am happy that I can entrust him to you and he would be alright even when I am gone.” Then he directed a soft smile towards Nino. “Go to him. He would be very happy.”

***

That night when Nino made it to home, he wasn’t able to get rid of the idea of going to visit Jun in Hokkaido no matter what. He threw his jacket to the sofa in the living room and plopped down with a sigh.

Did he want to go to see him? Hell yes, he did. He was also sure that he could take a day off and go to him. But was that even a good idea?

Nobuyuki’s words kept echoing in the back of his mind.

Nino loved Jun. There was no denying in it anymore. On the first night they spent together, Nino was certain that he won’t be falling for Jun. He wasn’t going to let himself broken by him. Jun was someone who lived in a different world, who had different values and different point of view towards everything in the world; that was how he thought of him. Spending days together with him, seeing how he lives and how he slowly disclose himself in front of Nino was what made his walls crumble. The knowledge of how Jun wasn’t any different from Nino made him look at Jun under a different light. It was what made him want to reach out for Jun. Because he had falsified him once, he had been deceived by that strong and strict façade, he wanted to know more. He wanted to fill the gap of time he spent wronging him by knowing him more. The desire of _wanting to know him,_ slowly, but surely turned into affection. People would expect love, at first sight, to be more destructive. But no. Nino now knew that a love which came slowly was to destroy anything and everything. Because when he came to realize the love that slowly and secretly built inside his heart, it was already too late. It wasn’t like lightning striking to him, no, that wouldn’t be how he’d describe it. It was gentler than that, yet, as strong as that. It shook him to the core, and Nino had nowhere to run, no place to hide.

He reached out for his phone, unlocking it, his fingers hovered over Jun’s name in his last received calls. The call log has already belonged three days ago. Nino bit his lower lip, thinking if he should call him or not when his phone started to ring in his hand. He jumped with surprise, nearly dropping his phone.

“Yes?!” Nino answered the phone immediately when he looked at the screen and saw Jun’s name on it.

_“Are you okay?”_ Jun asked immediately.

Nino smiled unconsciously. This was the Matsumoto Jun he came to know after spending time together. He cared so much and was kind. “Of course,” Nino answered, relaxing.

_“That’s good,”_ he could hear the smile on Jun’s voice. _“Was it a good time for me to call you?”_

Nino hummed, relaxing to the sofa again. “I went to visit Nobu-jii,” he said.

_“How is grandpa?”_ Jun asked curiously.

“He’s fine,” Nino chuckled. “He cooked hamburger for me.”

That made Jun laugh. _“He likes feeding you.”_

“I seriously don’t know why every Matsumoto I know wants to feed me,” Nino grumbled.

Jun snorted. _“That’s because you’re too skinny and you really don’t eat healthily.”_

Nino groaned. “Here goes the health class of Matsumoto.”

_“Kazu…”_ Jun sighed exasperatedly before both of them laughed. _“Seriously though, are you even eating?”_

“How rude,” Nino mock-complains. “I’d love to remind you that I’m a fully grown man who had been living alone before we got married and I can take care of myself.”

_“You’re right,”_ Jun chuckled. _“Sorry.”_

“So what are you doing now?” Nino asked after a few seconds of silence.

_“I just got back in my hotel room,”_ Jun answered. _“It was a very long day,”_ he added. Nino could hear the fatigue in his voice.

“Thank you for your hard work,” Nino replied softly. “And welcome back.”

_“I’m back,”_ Jun laughed tiredly, for a reason Nino couldn’t understand. _“It’s very lonely here you know. I guess I got used to your presence more than I thought,”_ a sheepish laugh followed the sentence.

Nino’s breath was caught in his throat. “It’s the same for me too,” he confessed before he could stop himself. “This house is too empty without you.”

_“Kazu…”_

“I— Sorry, this—” Nino stuttered as soon as he realized what he had been saying.

However, Jun cut him off with something Nino was expecting the less. _“I miss you too, Kazu,”_ Jun’s soft voice was making everything hard for Nino. _My son is very fond of you, Kazunari-kun. Go to him._ Nobuyuki’s words once again echoed in his mind. But what made him decide was again, Jun’s words. _“I wonder if I can take the next weekend off so I can come to visit,”_ Jun mumbled, more to himself.

“How about I go to Hokkaido, instead?” Nino asked hesitantly with a small voice.

A surprised gasp, followed with an _“Eh?”_ made it known that Jun certainly wasn’t expecting Nino to say this.

“I just— I think I can take a few days off and…” Nino tried to explain, glad that Jun wasn’t there to see how flushed he was.

_“Would you, really?”_ Jun asked, his voice clearly showing how surprised he was.

Taking a deep breath Nino replied, knowing that he can’t run at this point. “I will. If you’d let me.”

There was no way he could see the smile on Jun’s face through the phone at that moment, but when he spoke, Nino could swear that Jun was smiling one of the brightest smiles of his. He wasn’t exactly sure about what he was expecting but Jun replied more enthusiastically than Nino hoped for. _“Come to Hokkaido, Kazu. I really miss you.”_

“Okay,” he promised as his lips curled up with a smile. “Now, go to sleep, Jun-kun. I bet you have to be early tomorrow.”

That made Jun laugh out loud. _“You think I am the only worrywart here?”_

“Shut up,” Nino grumbled, feeling his cheeks burning. It was a good thing that Jun wasn’t there to see him.

_“Good night, Kazu. I guess I’ll see you at the weekend,”_ Jun said, hopefully.

“Good night, Jun-kun,” Nino couldn’t help but smile. “Yes. I will see you at the weekend.”

_“That’s good,”_ Jun yawned, making Nino laugh.

“Go to sleep,” Nino ordered half-jokingly.

_“Mhm… G’night Kazu…”_

Nino chuckled at Jun’s sleepy words as Jun’s breath evened out near the phone. He must have been really tired, Nino thought affectionately. He continued to listen to Jun’s sleepy breath for a few more minutes.

“Sleep tight, Jun-kun,” he whispered, careful to not to wake him up just in case before finally hung up the phone.

That night, Nino slept well too, as he was looking forward to the weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My posting speed is probably the worst ever and I'm very aware of that really. And their progress is so slow I am aware of that too haha but I'll do my best to be fast and for some progress for the next chapter! This one was needed (at least for me) because of the grandpa and what will happen after this >.< Hope it's okay for you guys too! 
> 
> Anyways, your comments always make me tear up and I am so thankful all of you T-T Thank you for keeping to reading this fic despite my writing speed T-T Love you all <3 
> 
> Yukina~


	14. Chapter 14

Jun kept checking his wristwatch. It was Friday, and Nino’s flight was in a couple of hours. He had a shooting but if everything goes well he would be able to go to airport to pick Nino up. They were staying in a rather secluded area, there weren’t a lot of people to begin with, aside from the filming crew and the nature was beautiful. Jun already had a few places in his mind to take Nino, and some nice things to eat. He was excited, and his excitement was showing through his actions. Apparently, Nino was good for him.

“You look good today,” was the comment he received from Ohno when they were shooting the morning scene.

Jun shrugged, can’t help grinning. “Kazu is coming to visit,” he said while they waited for the director’s instructions.

“Your husband?” Ohno questioned, since it was the first time Jun had mentioned his husband’s name like that. Jun nodded. “Nice,” he said softly, before they had to move to the set.

It was the scene Eiji and Kenta meet again after years. They had filmed the scenes before that and they had finally made it into the dramatic part of the shooting. According to the setting of the story, Eiji was devastated after Kenta left him. They had spent years apart each other when Kenta decided to return Hokkaido.

Jun took a deep breath, concentrating his role fully. He was intended to finish that day on time, or maybe even earlier than planned to go to fetch Nino from airport.

However, he soon realized that it wasn’t going to happen as the scene kept being cut one by one due to the troubles that Jun can’t do anything about. He was so tempted to ask the director about letting him go for the day, but as a professional, he just couldn’t do that. Ohno kept watching him silently while Jun’s frown deepened.

At some point, Taichi-san left to pick Nino up from the airport and Jun was grateful to him.

“It’s unfortunate that today’s schedule dragged on,” Ohno said softly when they were sitting on the chairs that were prepared for them to rest.

“Well, can’t help it,” Jun tried to seem nonchalant.

Ohno hummed. He was unexpectedly talkative today, Jun thought. They rarely spoke, but it wasn’t because they were avoiding each other or anything like that. Ohno was known to be a silent type from the begin with and Jun found it incredibly comforting. He certainly didn’t need to worry about making small conversations with Ohno to keep the atmosphere light.

However, that day wasn’t one of the usual ones, it seemed as Ohno acted weirder than usual.

“Matsujun?”

“Hm?”

“You are happy, right?” he asked suddenly, making Jun look at him as if he had grown a second head.

“Why are you asking that?” Jun questioned, not answering him immediately.

Ohno shrugged. “Just curious.”

“Why are you even curious about my happiness…” Jun grumbled before leaning back and looking up to the blue sky. “But I am happy. I thought I couldn’t be, but I am happy.”

Ohno hummed thoughtfully at that, not saying anything or offering anything. He just kept looking at Jun. He was getting uncomfortable with the silence before Ohno finally decided to say something. “That’s good then,” Ohno said so softly that Jun would have missed it if he wasn’t listening. Then he stretched lazily, one last time before he stood up. “Let’s get this shooting done then!”

***

When they reached the location site, the shooting was still continuing and it was Nino’s first time to be in a drama shooting site. He was picked up by Taichi-san, who explained to him that Jun wanted to pick Nino up from the airport himself but couldn’t come due to the filming dragging. The ride in the car took them a while before they reached the secluded place.

The nature was beautiful. Nino knew that it was beautiful by the photos Jun sent him but seeing it with his own two eyes was on a different level. He was glad that he came here to see this scenery, he thought even though he was someone who rarely went out.

“The setting is important, but the production wants to show the natural beauty of Hokkaido too, thus they wanted to shoot the whole thing on location,” Taichi-san explained silently when they had stood behind the director, inspecting the monitor that was showing Jun and his co-star, Ohno Satoshi.

Jun looked good, Nino thought involuntarily. He looked beautiful to the point of overshadowing the beautiful scenery. He was holding hands with Ohno Satoshi and was looking at him like he meant everything in the world for him. Nino felt a pang in his chest. _Was this jealousy?_

They were about to kiss when the director cut the scene. Nino watched Jun as he slipped out of his character, getting away from Ohno immediately. Their eyes met when Jun started walking towards the director’s side to check the monitors.

Jun’s eyes shined brightly and Nino found himself smiling at the sight. Jun was certainly shining a moment ago, as he acted out his role, but Nino decided he liked that smile better than any role Jun had acted until now.

“You came!” Jun said the moment he was standing in front of Nino.

Nino grinned. “Of course, I did. I told you I was going to, after all. I would hate to disappoint you.”

Jun’s smile widened. “I am glad,” he said, meaning it. He was really glad that Nino came to visit him despite the fact that he was busy, and he had to travel up to Hokkaido. “I am sorry I couldn’t make it today. I wanted to pick you up from the airport myself but…” he pointed to the set.

“It’s okay,” Nino reassured him. “And it’s kind of exciting,” he added. “This is my first time to be in an actual drama set.”

“It’s a rather plain place,” Jun chuckled. “We all lean too much to the editing.”

“You were amazing there though,” Nino commented which apparently made Jun blush.

“You think so?” He mumbled bashfully.

“I knew you were amazing but seeing it with my own eyes is a different thing.”

Jun laughed in order to hide his embarrassment. “Come on, you don’t even watch my works.”

Now it was Nino’s turn to get red. “I actually did watch some of them,” he confessed.

Jun’s eyes widened. “You did? Really?”

Nino nodded, feeling his ears heat up.

“But I thought you weren’t interested in those,” Jun said, more to himself.

“Someone from the office is a big fan of yours, and she is incredibly good at making her computer crash,” Nino tried to fudge the truth. “She talked me into watching some of your works, you see.”

Jun didn’t say anything for a few seconds, looking at Nino who was getting redder by second before he smiled and reached out for Nino’s hand. Nino jumped with surprise but he didn’t resist when Jun tangled their fingers. “Thank you for watching them, Kazu,” Nino’s heart skipped a beat upon hearing Jun’s soft voice.

Nino looked around nervously, hoping that no one was watching them. “Is this okay?” he asked with a low voice as his eyes landed on their intertwined fingers.

Jun just squeezed his hand reassuringly. “You are my husband, of course, it’s okay,” he said as he pulled Nino closer. “Let me show you around,” he flashed a smile while he pulled Nino towards the set.

***

It was already late when they reached the hotel and Nino was ready to sleep. He didn’t know what kind of work they had went through to shoot a drama until that day but seeing the process for a bit, Nino was appalled. He had no idea one scene took this long to shoot. They had takes, retakes, and retakes over and over again yet Jun was still walking beside him as if nothing happened. _Never underestimate the stamina of a national star,_ Nino mused as he admired Jun’s energy. Despite the filming was long, Nino was glad that he was able to witness what kind of work Jun was doing. And he had understood what Taichi-san and Jun had been talking about. It certainly was a plain job, and surprisingly lonely. People were fancying Jun, Nino could clearly see it but none of them tried to look past the person behind the name. Nino’s heart ached for Jun. When the director called out for the day, Nino was more than happy, knowing that they both could relax some.

Jun led him to the hotel that was booked out for the filming crew and for the actors. It was a small building, and as far as Nino heard from Taichi-san, it was the only hotel around here. The location of the hotel was perfect, as it was close to the location site it was convenient for everyone. After the shooting was over, no one approached Jun, and Nino suspected that it had something to do with Taichi-san. But at that point, Nino didn’t care at all.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Jun started, making Nino look at him worriedly. “The hotel is full because of the filming crew and there aren’t any other hotels around here…”

“Which means we are going to share yours?” Nino was quick to catch up. It was true that this would be the first time they were going to be staying in the same room since their wedding but Nino was unexpectedly okay with it.

Jun nodded, looking at Nino as if he was expecting Nino to refuse.

“Okay,” Nino answered, looking at Jun in the eye. “As far as I know, you’re not snoring,” he joked to lighten the atmosphere.

That made Jun laugh. “Well, good to know that.”

“And this is not the first time we are going to share a hotel room,” Nino added which made Jun look at him. He bit his lower lip, was this a good time to talk about their awkward honeymoon suite incident?

Jun shrugged. “At least, it’s not a honeymoon suite this time,” he said neutrally. “There are no strategically placed mirrors this time, I promise,” he assured Nino with a serious face, and it was so funny that they were both laughing out loud the next second.

In the next moment, the elevator stopped on their floor and they exit. Jun was carrying his small duffel bag, which Nino had insisted to carry but Jun wouldn’t let him, as he opened the door with a small plastic card and let Nino in.

The room was small. Nino didn’t know what he had expected but, it was a rather simple hotel room with one semi-double bed, a really narrow couch, a television and a small vanity. Nino moved towards the couch, plopping down tiredly as he yawned.

“Why don’t you take a shower and sleep?” Jun suggested upon seeing him so tired.

“I probably should,” Nino nodded, getting to his feet and stretching his muscles. His joints cracked making Nino wince.

“You okay?” Jun asked, clearly worried by the sound Nino’s body makes.

Nino chuckled. “Yeah, this happens a lot,” and added. “So please stop frowning.”

Jun pouted. “I’ll take the couch,” he announced as he made his way to grab a pillow and a spare blanket from the bed.

“There’s no way I’m gonna allow that,” it was Nino’s time to frown. He can’t possibly let Jun sleep in such a narrow couch, there was no way he would fit and anyway, Nino certainly didn’t want him to have a sore back for the next day. “There’s no way I’m going to let you have a sore back tomorrow,” he crossed his arms in front of him determinedly.

Jun levelled him with a look. “And you think I’m going to let you sleep on that couch with that back of yours?”

“My back has nothing to do with it,” Nino pouted stubbornly. “And how do you even know about that?”

“It does,” Jun insisted. “It’s not too hard to figure out, Kazu, I can tell just by looking at you.”

Jun was so straightforward with his words and Nino certainly wasn’t prepared for such a reveal. He was sure that Jun had no interest towards Nino, yet there Jun was, watching him closely. He let Jun’s words sink him for a second. However, he wasn’t ready to confront him, just not yet. “So what do you suggest? Share the bed?”

Jun shrugged. “If you don’t mind, we can.”

Nino certainly wasn’t expecting that. “But…” he tried to oppose but Jun didn’t budge.

“It’s either we share, or I’m taking the couch,” he said finality in his voice.

“Fine! We can share,” Nino gave in.

Jun nodded, a satisfied smile adorning his lips. Nino just couldn’t believe he had lost this argument. “I’ll go take a shower,” he announced, almost sulking.

Nino locked the door behind himself, as he tiredly got himself under the shower. He was trying not to think about the fact that he was going to share a bed with Jun. And it was ridiculous, because, come on! They were married! And it shouldn’t be this awkward to share a bed with his lawfully wedded husband. _That’s not the problem,_ his mind was screaming at him. And yes, Nino sure knew what was the problem here.

He had come to Hokkaido, just to see Jun, which was obviously because he had missed him. There were so many things unspoken between them, and yet there he was. He didn’t know how Jun felt, but he dared to hope that Jun felt the same.

He didn’t spend too much time in the shower, knowing that Jun also needed it. He dried himself and put on his pyjamas quickly and got out of the bathroom. His hair was dripping to the towel he had around his neck as he approached the bed. Jun was checking his phone but when Nino came out, he stood up from the couch and moved towards him. Nino thought he was going to walk past him to reach the bathroom but Jun stood right in front of him.

Without a word, Jun grabbed the towel around Nino’s neck and started to dry his hair. There was silence between them while Jun gently dried Nino’s hair. His touch felt nice and comforting and Nino was getting rather sleepy.

Jun chuckled upon seeing him. “Go to bed, Kazu, you look like you’re going to fall asleep in any minute,” he said as he pushed Nino towards the bed before leaving for the bathroom.

Nino sat there, thinking about what to do until the sound of water running reached to his ears. He heaved a sigh for the nth time that day, as he pushed the bedsheets aside and getting into the bed. He pulled the covers to his head as he buried himself under the covers.

He wasn’t sleeping when Jun came out of the shower. Nino listened to his movements as he shuffled around the room. For a moment Nino thought he would go to the couch, not wanting to share a bed with him but in the next moment Jun slowly settled into the bed.

He narrowed his eyes upon seeing Nino who was still awake as he got into the bed. “Why are you still awake?” he asked, his voice clearly annoyed. “You keep worrying me,” he huffed. The darkness they share in the room was making Jun’s features look softer and Nino’s heart ached.

“You’re no better,” Nino shot back, he huffed, equally annoyed. “Personally, I think you are more than just worrying me.” Nino watched Jun pout before he continued. “But I guess, being married is something like this,” Nino mused, his voice softer. “I don’t exactly know how the marriage thing works,” he was afraid, he wasn’t going to deny that but he wanted to do this. He wanted Jun to know that he likes what they have. He wanted Jun to know, if allowed, he wanted more of what they have. “My mother has always been alone in her marriage, but I came to think that I wouldn’t really mind this.”

“Kazu?” Jun was looking at him questioningly, his eyes were shining with something Nino couldn’t dare to name.

“I don’t know how marriage works at all,” he murmured softly, gathering his courage to tell Jun what he wanted to tell all this time. “But I like what we have here.”

“Kazu…”

“I…” Nino started again, hesitantly. “I don’t know if you _need_ me in your life… but if you _want_ me…” his voice trailed off as he was just too embarrassed to continue. He looked down, somehow afraid to meet Jun’s gaze. Despite having grandpa Nobuyuki pushing his back, Nino was still afraid to get rejected by Jun.

“I do,” Jun answered before Nino could say anything. His voice was steady as if wanting to show his seriousness to Nino, while he quickly grabbed Nino’s hands making him look at him. “I don’t know how marriage works too,” he chuckled softly to help the atmosphere brighten. “And I failed. I am hopeless, apparently, I frown too much and I tend to make you sad, I am aware of it… But I do want you in my life,” Jun said truthfully. “I want you here, right beside me, Kazu.”

Nino looked at him, searching Jun’s eyes to see if it was all the truth. But in the end, he knew that even if it was a lie, he would believe it. Because he was a fool in love, he just couldn’t resist. He didn’t say anything, he couldn’t say anything when Jun scooted closer and put a hand to Nino’s back, pulling him towards himself, into his arms. Nino’s breath caught in his throat while Jun held him close. Jun’s scent was filling his senses and enclose him into a whirl of emotions.

_Please, don’t break my heart,_ Nino wanted to say but he didn’t trust his voice. He just hesitantly put his own arm around Jun. When Jun didn’t push him away, he just scooted closer to him too, burying his face into Jun’s broad chest.

He still couldn’t say that he loved him, but the strong arms of Jun that’s wrapped around his body, made him believe in a bright future where they loved each other was awaiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!!  
Sorry for disappearing for more than a month... I was battling with Nino Exchange you see hahaha And since it's 17th of June, it's my fluffy boi's birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR NINO PLEASE BE HAPPY!!! and I really wanted to update today so I kept this chapter for a few days hahaha Sorry!!  
Dear @machmto from Twitter made an edit for this fic and it made me so happy so please take a look at it because it's beautiful (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) [HERE](https://twitter.com/machmto/status/1262058184245538817)  
Okay, so I'm finally there to solve this "problem" between Nino and Jun which makes me so damn happy! No kiss yet but it will be there soon :") Anyway, I hope you had fun reading it!  
Lots of love  
Yukina~


	15. Chapter 15

Next morning Nino woke up to a feeling like he was being crushed by something. Or someone, if he had to be specific, as he slowly came to his senses. He realized that Jun was hugging him from behind, His face was buried to the crook of Nino’s neck. He could feel Jun’s warm breath landing on his skin. He wondered if this was a dream as he let the feeling of Jun’s strong arms around his body sink into him for a moment. If it wasn’t, this was certainly the first time Nino had been hugged like this; so tightly, and as if he had belonged between those arms. He closed his eyes one more time, wishing to go back to sleep in case it was a dream. After a few minutes of silence, he admitted to being awake. However, it was warm, and he was too comfortable to feel embarrassed.

He couldn’t fall asleep again, no matter how much he wanted as he was already awake enough to go back to sleep. There was no way he could stop his mind wandering to the last night. He couldn’t believe that he told those words to Jun. However, what he couldn’t believe more was the fact that Jun accepted him. Hearing that he wanted Nino in his life was something Nino couldn’t dare to dream. But here they were.

Nino had no idea what this meant for them and where it would take them. Their relationship was already complicated, from the very beginning. They were already married, so the actual order of the meeting, getting to know each other, falling in love, dating and then maybe marriage was already messed up. Nino basically has been moving blindly around Jun for this whole time, afraid to make a mistake, afraid to fall from the edge of the world.

He took a deep breath, inhaling Jun’s scent. They were bundled under the blankets, Jun hugging him close as if he was a pillow, and to his surprise, Nino didn’t hate this. He moved slowly, turning around and facing Jun. He gazed up the sleeping features of Jun. The lights of the sun were coming into through the small gap of the curtains, providing Nino with enough light to study Jun’s face. His eyelashes were so long, and this close, Nino thought he could count them. The dark circles under his eyes were visible, telling Nino that he hadn’t been sleeping well. Shooting a drama must be tiring no matter what he says, Nino thought.

He had no idea how long he had watched Jun like that, but the next moment, Jun’s eyes fluttered open, looking at Nino blearily. Nino had never thought that he would actually watch Jun wake up and it was so endearing.

“It’s morning,” Nino whispered.

Jun looked confused for a moment. Then he blinked a few times before letting out a deep breath. A smile, soft, warm and beautiful, danced on his lips and Nino’s heart clenched painfully in his chest. Jun stretched lazily, before bringing his arms around Nino’s waist once again and pulling him close and burying his face to the crook of Nino’s neck, he cuddled him close. Nino was blushing so hard and he was glad that he wasn’t directly facing Jun.

They stayed like that for a while, Jun’s breath evening out and still landing on Nino’s exposed skin of his collarbones. Nino almost thought Jun had fallen asleep again when he spoke.

“It’s all about who you wake up with,” Jun muttered but it was enough for Nino.

“Hm?”

“Nothing.”

Nino chuckled. He had no idea what Jun meant with it was okay. Everything was okay, they were good, secured by the safety of this small hotel room, enveloped by the warmness of blanket. And Nino dared to believe that everything was going to be alright.

***

They had already missed their chance for breakfast when they finally decided to go out.

“I am sorry,” Jun apologized once again as they made their way to the restaurant of the hotel that was located on the first floor.

“Stop apologizing,” Nino groaned. “It’s not like we have somewhere to go.”

“We have somewhere to go,” Jun pouted. “Isn’t this your first time in Hokkaido? We should go out and do some sight-seeing!”

Nino let out a sigh. “True that this is my first time in Hokkaido but then again you know I am not someone who likes going out.”

“That’s pretty boring,” Jun hummed.

“Hey!” Nino scolded him. “You knew that this is my default setting and-” he stopped the moment he realized what he was about to say.

“And?” Jun looked at Nino’s face curiously.

Nino averted his gaze, looking away and hoping that he wasn’t blushing. “... Nothing.”

Jun chuckled. “You’re cute, but no, we are going out.”

If he wasn’t blushing a second ago, then he was certainly blushing now. “Stop it.”

Jun grinned, and without saying anything he caught Nino’s hand, pulling him close to himself. Nino didn’t resist him this time, for the first time enjoying the close proximity of Jun’s body.

“Come on, let’s go,” Jun said, flashing him a dazzling smile.

“To where?” Nino asked.

“First we eat something. I don’t know you but I’m starving,” Jun started. “Hokkaido has a lot of delicious dishes and you wouldn’t want to miss it.”

Nino rolled his eyes. “Meal, got it.”

“Shut up.”

“I haven’t say anything,” Nino said, biting inside of his cheek in order not to laugh.

Jun narrowed his eyes. “I said shut up.”

That got Nino bursting out with laughter.

“Brat,” Jun grouched.

“Okay,” Nino managed to say between his laughter, then he made a gesture of zipping his lips and throwing the invisible key away.

“I can’t believe you,” Jun reprimanded but Nino knew better as the corner of Jun’s lips curled up too. It was good to be able to tease Jun, Nino thought. Their relationship until now didn’t allow it to happen too much, but Nino realized he could get addicted to this. To annoy Jun and to have him smile so brightly. He certainly liked it.

Suddenly Jun stopped pulling Nino’s hand and stopping him too. He looked straight into his eyes for a second, as if struggling to find the right words before he spoke. He was still holding Nino’s hand, his grip firm and stable yet not forceful. Nino knew he could shake it off if he wanted. But he didn’t. He wanted to be there, right where he is.

So when Jun voiced what he wanted to say in a hesitating manner. “And then… after we eat something… I want to take you to date if it’s okay.”

"You want to take me to date?" Nino questioned, wanting to be sure that he heard Jun right.

Jun nodded. "That is, if you allow me to."

Nino chuckled. He wasn’t used to Jun being this adorable towards him. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Well, it shouldn’t be that weird, right? We are married after all.”

“Oh, that’s true,” Jun chuckled bashfully.

Nino bit his lower lip, looking at Jun who was looking at their hands which were still connected. His lips curled up to a smile, as he squeezed Jun’s hand and pulled him forward. “Let’s go,” Nino said, his smile widening when Jun’s eyes met his. “We have a date to go.”

***

Jun’s heart skipped a beat over seeing the bright smile of Nino. It hurt to look at those eyes, which shined brightly under the natural sunlight.

The night before, he had watched Nino fall asleep in his arms. And it didn’t feel strange at all, even though it should have. Yes, they weren’t strangers, and they were married but still, the relationship between them was throwing Jun off the loop. Having Nino on his bed, inside his arms… It felt right, despite everything. Jun still couldn’t say I love you. But at the same time, he wasn’t sure what to call these feelings if it wasn’t love.

Jun let Nino pull him forward because if one of them had the courage to move the things between them forward, it was Nino.

The restaurant Jun choose was a simple hamburger restaurant with a simple inner design. He had specially chosen that restaurant because he had no idea what Nino liked aside from hamburger.

“I was expecting you to choose somewhere fancier,” Nino commented, with a cheeky grin.

Jun shrugged. “I don’t know what else you like,” he said and added. “I think it would be worse to take you to a fancy sushi restaurant and learn that you can’t eat sushi on our first date. It’s either I take you to somewhere fancy to risk that, or I play safe and give you your favourite food so that I could earn some points from you.”

Nino looked at him, his eyes wide with surprise. “You really put some thoughts into it.”

“What?” Jun asked, his lips curling up to a smile. “You thought I didn’t want to secure another date with you?”

“I thought you’re not the type to put effort to a date,” Nino admitted seriously.

“And why is that?”

“Honestly? You can get literally everyone with those looks of yours,” Nino eyed him.

Jun crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned back in his chair. “I don’t really think that highly of myself but it’s good to know that you find me somewhat attractive,” he grinned.

Nino blushed. “I didn’t say that,” he looked away.

“You’re blushing,” Jun pointed out, his grin widening.

“Shut up,” Nino huffed.

Jun didn’t say anything more, as he watched Nino who was looking everywhere aside him. It felt nice to be able to tease Nino, interestingly so. Nino was someone who had a rather sharp tongue and liked to tease as he started to discover.

“Kazu,” he decided to go further.

Nino looked at him. “Hm?”

“You like games, don’t you?”

“I do,” Nino affirmed.

Jun hummed before pressing on more. “Would you like to play a game?”

Nino looked at him suspiciously. “Like what?”

“I was wondering if we can play strangers,” Jun shrugged.

“For what purpose?”

“We are married yet I know nothing about you, aside from the fact that you like hamburger, cheap things and games,” Jun pointed out.

Nino crossed his arms, considering Jun’s suggestion before he nodded. “You have a point.”

“So?”

“Alright,” Nino agreed easily. “How are we going to do this then?”

“My name is Matsumoto Jun,” Jun smiled and held out his hand to Nino. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Nino chuckled but still reached out for Jun, giving him a firm handshake. “The pleasure is mine, Matsumoto-san. My name is Ninomiya Kazunari.”

Jun flashed him a smile when Nino boarded to the game. “Thank you for agreeing to have a date with me, Ninomiya-san.”

“Thank you for asking me out, Matsumoto-san. And please, no need for formalities, you can call me Nino like everyone does.”

“Nino?” Jun cocked his head to the side.

“Yes?”

Jun laughed. “It’s cute.”

“Well, thanks, I guess?” Nino leaned back on his chair. “So, Matsumoto-san, what do you do?”

“I am an actor,” Jun smirked, mirroring Nino and leaning back on his chair.

“Oh, and do you earn well?” Nino asked with a raised eyebrow.

That got Jun laughing out loud. “I guess I do,” he mused. “And what do you do, Nino?”

“I am your IT guy who fixes the computers,” Nino grinned. “It’s not as interesting as being an actor, but I like it.”

“Being an actor isn’t really interesting too,” Jun commented off-handedly. “We are just the face, really.”

“Well, in that case, you’re one of the good faces out there,” Nino pointed with a sly grin making Jun blush.

“I didn’t know you could flirt like that,” Jun murmured, almost inaudible, it made Nino laugh.

“And you’re now disrupting the game,” Nino shot cocking his head to the side innocently.

“You’re insufferable,” Jun breathed out shaking his head.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Nino tittered.

The waiter chose to serve their meal just that moment and they chose to eat first talk later.

“This is delicious, Matsumoto-san,” Nino said sincerely. “Thank you very much.”

“I am glad you like it,” Jun smiled.

***

After their meal, they got into the car Jun borrowed from Taichi-san, once again. The place Jun had in his mind was a bit far, and it would provide them a long time alone inside the car.

“So where are you going to take me Matsumoto-kun?”

Jun’s lips curled. Nino has always been reserved most of the time Jun was around. But they weren’t more than roommates at that time, yet Jun dared to hope that this time they were more than that. “I have been meaning to see Blue Pond,” he said. “It is said to be the best to see around this time of the year,” he added.

“Blue Pond?” Nino cocked his head to the side, looking confused. “This is the first time I’ve heard of it.”

“Ohno-san was the one who told me about it, too” Jun shrugged. “He said it’s beautiful and when I checked it out, it looked nice. I wanted to go there since I came to Hokkaido but hadn’t had the chance. It’s a bit far but we have time and it’s said to be beautiful.”

Nino hummed. “Ohno-san, huh,” Nino remembered the sleepy-looking guy who was introduced to him by Jun the day before. He was soft-spoken and looked like a nice person in general. However, something didn’t fit right for Nino. He wasn’t sure if it was how Ohno looked at Jun, or if it was the fact that Nino watched them almost kiss. It didn’t make sense. Jun was an actor, and Nino was perfectly aware that he had kissed many actresses and probably good looking people altogether. But somehow, Nino didn’t like the fact that Jun was meant to kiss Ohno Satoshi. _Are you jealous now, Ninomiya?_

“Nino?” Jun was looking at him with, questioningly. “If you don’t want then we can do something else?”

Nino scratched behind his neck. There were a few things that didn’t settle with him well. Like Jun calling him Nino. He had become too used to Jun calling him as Kazu, that now it felt weird. Nino was aware that they were playing a game together, but it still felt strange that Jun didn’t call him like that.

And he had come to like the way Jun said his name, that it was unsettling. Only a few people called him Kazu. His mother and Aiba’s mother was one of those who were closest to Nino. Jun became one of them too, even before Nino could realize it.

However, they were playing a game and Nino certainly didn’t want to intervene it because of this.

“I am not exactly the outdoor type, you see,” he opted to say.

“Oh?”

“II really don’t go out too much.”

“But you’re in Hokkaido,” Jun pointed out evilly. He really wasn’t playing this game fairly.

“I came to visit someone,” Nino replied, deciding that he also didn’t need to play it fair. “Someone precious to me.”

“Oh…” Jun muttered and Nino could see his cheeks reddening. He smirked.

“How about you, Matsumoto-san?” Nino asked. “What brings you here to Hokkaido?”

“Work,” Jun answered evenly.

“And yet you have time to date?” Nino attacked further.

Jun groaned. “You don’t play it fair, Kazu,” he pouted.

“You are the one who started it,” Nino shot back, grinning all the way.

Jun sighed, shaking his head exasperatedly. “Whatever,” he said, completely given up on fighting against Nino which got him to laugh out loud.

“You’re a funny person, Matsumoto-san,” Nino said, continuing their small game just because he can.

“And you are such a tease, Nino,” Jun eyed him.

“Do you hate it?” Nino asked curiously.

“I can actually live with that.”

***

Nino certainly wasn’t someone who liked to go out but despite that, his breath caught in his throat due to the beauty of the lake that laid naked in front of his eyes.

“It’s beautiful,” Nino couldn’t help but mutter when he felt Jun’s presence next to him.

“I told you,” Jun said, and Nino could his proud smile from his voice.

“This is really beautiful,” Nino repeated, not being able to find another word to describe it.

“It’s an artificially created lake,” Jun provided him. “It is one of the ponds that were a by-product of creating a dam at the Biei River. It was actually meant to stop the volcanic mud of the erupting Mt. Tokachi from reaching the town of Biei in 1988.”

Nino turned to look at him because of the sudden information flood. Jun shrugged when he saw the look on Nino’s face. “Wikipedia,” he said, explaining the root of information he had just showed off. “I am good at memorizing lines.”

Nino laughed. “You are so cute,” he couldn’t help but say, which got Jun blush lightly and look away.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it,” he changed the subject hastily. “I never thought humans can create such a thing even though it was just a bunch of coincidences coming together.”

“Coincidences, huh…”

A few seconds of silence fell between them as both of them watched the beauty of the turquoise colours of the lake. The dead trees were reflecting on the waters in a way that was making it look surreal. Nino certainly didn’t like going out, but he was glad that he came to see this place with Jun.

“Coincidences leads to the good results sometimes,” Jun started next to him.

“They do,” Nino acknowledged with the nod of his head.

“I guess I don’t hate coincidences,” Jun admitted with a low voice.

“I guess I don’t too,” Nino nodded, thinking the coincidences that brought him together with Jun. They were unfortunate coincidences, and Nino thought marrying Jun was just one of those unfortunate happenings in his life. But now a part of him was grateful to those for letting him meet Jun.

“Hey, Nino.”

“Hm?” Nino turned his head to Jun, looking straight into his sweet and brown eyes.

“Would you mind if I hold your hand?” There was a shy sparkle in his eyes and Nino decided that he liked it very much.

“You’re very bold from the first date,” Nino teased.

Jun cocked his head innocently yet there was a smirk dancing on his lips. “Do you mind?”

Nino snorted, it was nice that Jun was able to keep up with him. “I don’t.”

“Which one?”

“Both,” Nino answered evenly. “I don’t mind both.”

Jun flashed him another blinding smile of his, reaching out and pulling Nino towards himself. The next moment Nino knew, Jun was hugging him from behind, his back plastered on Jun’s chest.

“I thought you were only going to hold my hand?” Nino asked breathlessly.

“You said you like me acting bold,” Jun reasoned.

“I said I don’t mind,” Nino pointed out.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No.”

“Then?”

Nino stayed silent as he bit his lower lip, wondering if he can also choose to be bold like Jun.

“Tell me,” Jun prompted him gently. “Tell me what you want me to do, and I will.”

The choice of words of Jun sounded funny as if they were coming out of a script but Nino was aware that Jun would do if Nino said him to stop, or to continue. And at this point, telling him to stop was the last thing Nino would do.

Nino took a deep breath, Jun’s sweet scent was suppressing the smell of fresh air and Nino could feel his warmth around him.

“Would you kiss me too?” he asked in the end with a small voice.

“And who is the bold one from the first date?” Jun teased him but showing no intention of letting Nino go.

“You started it,” Nino pouted.

“I don’t kiss on the first date,” Jun said but Nino was aware that he was smiling.

Nino wiggled inside Jun’s arms, turning around to face Jun. “We are already married,” he pointed out. “I think you can make an exception on that issue.”

Nino didn’t have to say more as Jun sealed his lips with his own as if he had been waiting for this. Maybe he was, and just thinking of this made Nino feel giddy. Jun’s lips were warm against his own, as he waited for Nino to respond. It only took Nino a single second of surprise before he answered to Jun’s kiss hungrily. He brought his arms up around Jun’s neck, pulling him down and opening his lips to provide Jun entry. Their teeth crushed for a second due to the urgency they were both feeling, yet none of them minded it. Jun’s tongue brushed against Nino’s lips, before entering his cavern to discover an uncharted space. Nino moaned against Jun when his tongue brushed against the place behind his teeth. He was good at kissing, Nino thought, he could get addicted to this, to Jun.

The kiss ended faster than Nino would like, despite the fact that they kissed until their lungs were screaming for air. They were both breathless, and Nino couldn’t look at Jun in the eye as he let his forehead rest on Jun’s chest. His head was spinning, and he felt intoxicated.

Jun was also breathing heavily, his arms were resting on Nino’s waist, keeping him up and grounded. His lips ghosted on Nino’s hair, and Nino never wanted to leave this spot.

“That was…” Jun started after some time.

“Don’t comment.”

“Why?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

Jun chuckled. This close, Nino could hear the timbre of his chest. “I don’t regret it.”

“I don’t regret it too, but it’s still embarrassing,” Nino admitted, his arms tightening around Jun’s waist.

“Would you let me do it again?” Jun asked softly.

“It’s been more than six months,” Nino stated. “You should start fulfilling your duty as my husband.”

That made Jun laugh, it was a bright laugh that danced on air and made Nino feel better. “Anything else, husband?”

“One more thing,” Nino breathed out and raised his head finally looking up to Jun’s eyes. “Keep calling me Kazu. That feels better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING THIS SLOW PLEASE FORGIVE ME T-T 
> 
> I keep blaming rl all the time but really it's sometimes very energy draining that I can't even write a single word... This is no excuse I know but please forgive me T-T 
> 
> That being said, this chapter is one of the longest I've written for this fic and currently this fic is my longest fic ever and I barely made it into the half of it (wth yukina really???) But what I'm amazed is you guys who keep reading this huge mess T-T I am being able to keep going thanks to you guys! T-T 
> 
> Another thing I want to say is: THEY KISSED Y'ALL I AM DOING SOME VICTORY DANCE HERE *UGLY SOBBING* It was a really long journey until their first kiss seriously *pats her own back* I did my best guys, really! 
> 
> anyway, once again I hope to be able to post the next one soon. Dear God, please let me be able to write T-T 
> 
> Thank you all! Love you all!!  
-Yukina


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